tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29451077613639368372024-03-13T23:50:27.184-04:00The Journey of AdoptionEncouragement, information, and support for those touched by domestic or international adoption.Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.comBlogger193125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-55295533017048196792013-08-22T14:00:00.001-04:002013-08-22T14:00:11.740-04:00The Journey Of A Birthmom: Susan's Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My name is Susan - I am an FLS birthmother - and here's my adoption story...I was dating someone on and off for about 2 years. We were NOT a "healthy" relationship. We both insisted on being hateful, inconsiderate, and stupid. To make things worse, my parents did know about the relationship because they didn't approve of the race difference. March 15, 2012, is the day both of our lives changed forever. </div>
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I knew, from the moment it happened, I made a huge mistake; however I had no clue what I had really gotten myself into. I had 5 months of not telling anyone, I was in complete denial. I considered abortion but I couldn't do it after seeing how much joy my nieces and nephews brought me. I knew that I had to make a different choice...and, from that moment, my adoption journey began. </div>
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I had to quit worrying about myself and had to work up the courage to tell my parents so I could get to a doctor to check on my baby. I told a couple of friends looking for relief and, even though they were understanding and supportive, I knew I wouldn't feel relief until I told my parents. I sucked it up and gave my mother the dreaded note I had written months earlier. It was the note no mother wants to receive from her daughter. I immediately went to work and was scared to death to come home. She was in the shower so I walked in and asked, "Are you okay?". Of course she wasn't okay, she was devastated. "No," she replied. I hung my head and continued to sob. She cracked the door and looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "But I will be." Those words filled my heart with relief. I told my father three days later and saw his anger and hurt. We waited three days for everybody to gather themselves before we all sat down to talk. We talked about the possibility of going to the Liberty Godparent Home, but didn't feel like that was the right option for me. But, I made the decision to contact Family Life Services to begin working with an adoption counselor. A few weeks later, my mom and I met with Rachel. It was amazing and I had a peace about connecting with FLS - she made me realize I would be okay and I'm so grateful for that. </div>
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<span>I went to the doctor at 32 weeks and discovered I was having a healthy, beautiful baby boy. That made everything so much more real... it wasn't a plastic baby doll or a puppy but instead a REAL baby boy. That same day I went to the agency to do what I was so excited to do...choose an adoptive family for my son. That is a huge responsibility...to pick the perfect family for my baby boy...talk about pressure! The first family I looked at captivated me. They had one son and were so excited to adopt again. The baby kicked in my tummy the entire time I read about them and, somehow, I felt like it was God's destiny. I continued to look at other families but didn't feel that connection with anyone else. I called Rachel the next day to let her know "they" were the family for my baby. The next week, I went to meet them. The birthfather was unexpectedly unable to go with me so I was on my own. I was so nervous, I couldn't stop shaking. As soon as we started talking I was immediately happy and relaxed. They really were perfect for me! They were so in love with their first son, I knew my baby would fit into their family perfectly. The birthfather and I met with the adoptive family one more time before I had the baby and it was just as amazing as our first visit together. </span></div>
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<span><span>My due date was December 1, 2012 and I was scheduled to be induced on December 3rd. After about 25 hours of waiting, it was time to push. During my entire labor experience, I looked at a picture of my son's "soon-to-be" big brother and focused on how genuinely happy he was. On December 4, 2012, Elijah Jayden was born. I had worked so hard not to become emotionally attached but, as soon as he was born, I just wanted him in my arms. He was perfect, a gift from God. I instantly loved him so much! I felt the best love I've ever had holding him in my arms. He was born on a Tuesday and the reality of how painful my adoption decision would be settled in on Wednesday. My dad had to leave the hospital and it was time for him to say his final goodbyes. He cried while on his knees and prayed for him to have a good life and for him to know how much we love him. He and I were both devastated. That night, the birthfather came to see the baby and sign his papers. I secretly prayed that he wouldn't sign the papers. I didn't want to lose this amazing love and feeling of my son being in my arms. He, too, however, signed his papers and said his goodbyes. </span></span></div>
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<span><span>That night was my final night with Elijah. I played "Find Your Wings" by Mark Harris all night and cried, begging God to take my pain away. I knew in my heart he was theirs, but the emotions were so hard to deal with. I came home and tried to act like everything was normal. Friends came over and were happily surprised by how great I seemed to be doing. I went to visit the baby with two friends before placement day and it was amazing to see him. Then placement day came - which was the 2nd best day of my life. Although it broke my heart, I saw the future my son had ahead of him with his new family. That made the suffering and pain worth it. It was the most beautiful experience I've ever been a part of. Sure, I had people say nasty things to me, but I've learned they don't matter...my child is what matters. I get to see my beautiful baby grow up with two amazing parents and a sweet big brother who loves him so much. Of course, my heart is still full of hurt - healing is an ongoing process, but with good friends and my parents I am getting through it. Most importantly, I have chosen an adoptive family who is constantly sending me pictures and emails and genuinely cares for me too, which makes the pain easier to bear. Adoption is hard, so hard. There is no "easy" part about it, but the love in adoption is stronger then anything I've ever felt before. I have no regrets about my decision...my heart is too full...too full of love for my son, love for the adoptive family, FLS, and this opportunity to share my "real life" story in hope that it will impact others. </span></span></div>
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<span><span>This isn't the end of my story. I have new stories ahead that I will have to deal with as I process the pain and the hurt of this decision. It is a constant battle. But I've already learned that God is the only thing I need to get me through this battle and the future battles ahead.</span></span></div>
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Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-43466992604601183282013-06-24T07:00:00.000-04:002013-06-24T07:00:09.838-04:00A Few Things Birthmoms Want Adoptive Families To Know...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We hosted our first Birthmother Retreat last month and took the opportunity, while we had such a powerful group assembled, to ask these young ladies for some things that they wish they could tell adoptive families about themselves. The nuggets of wisdom that we gleaned from that simple exercise are priceless and we want to give a platform in this post for them to be shared.<br />
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<li>I made an adoption plan because I was mature enough to know that I wasn't ready to parent a child</li>
<li>I don't want you to look down on me because I got pregnant before I was ready to parent</li>
<li>Love me for who I am - I am not perfect and will make lots of mistakes and so will you</li>
<li>The months and years after an adoption are a healing process, I still have good days and bad days. If I back away from the relationship for a short period of time, please respect that it is part of my healing process and try to be understanding</li>
<li>I didn't choose adoption because I am selfish; I made an adoption plan because I knew that an adoptive family could give my child the life that I can't give him or her right now</li>
<li>Although my child has already been placed with you, their forever family, I still think about them every day</li>
<li>I love my child, and always will, but I also love the you and your family. You are family to me and I hope that you view me and my family as a part of yours</li>
<li>I might not get to be a "mom" but I am still a mother</li>
<li>We are not going to steal our birth children - we want them to be happy and secure in the family we chose for them and not traumatized</li>
<li>Please acknowledge us on Mother's Day - you might be the only ones who do</li>
<li>I place my child for adoption out of love and sacrifice, it wasn't because I didn't love my child or wanted the "easy way out" - adoption has been the most difficult decision I have ever made</li>
<li>I want to be included in the big things and milestones in my child's life but it means a lot when you include me in the little things too</li>
<li>My child will always have a special place in my heart</li>
<li>As we talk about our relationship, I want the you to be honest about what you really want</li>
<li>My greatest desire is for my relationship with your family to grow through the years</li>
<li>You don't have to pretend that you're perfect, I know that I am not and my family is not. It would make me feel more "normal" if I knew some of the things that were not perfect in your family too. Share with me your challenges, dysfunctions, and about your "crazy" family members</li>
<li>I hope that you don't feel threatened or overwhelmed if my family wants to get to know you too</li>
<li>I want you to be comfortable enough to ask me the hard questions about the birthfather or the situation, but I also want you to be respectful if I don't have the answers</li>
<li>Stay strong and hopeful if you are seeking adoption and haven't been chosen. There is a birth family who is looking for the qualities that are found in your family</li>
<li>Take as many pictures as possible - there will never be too many. We want to see pictures of everyday activities, not just posed pictures. Send us pictures of him or her throwing a fit, covered from head to toe in pudding or paint, and doing other activities. We also want to see pictures, not only of our child, but of you too</li>
<li>I am the only person who will be just as excited as you about the mundane details of the child's life, so ramble away in as much detail as you can share</li>
<li>We chose you to raise our child, so we want to have updates about you and not just updates about the child</li>
<li>Now that I've placed a child with you, we are all family</li>
<li>We love you so much</li>
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Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-18849360185389643982013-06-17T09:30:00.000-04:002013-06-17T09:30:02.753-04:00Adoption Book Review: All Bears Need Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Children's books, written with age appropriate adoption themes, are an absolute essential item in any adoptive parent's toolbox. They easily and comfortably introduce adoption language, invite questions from children to their parents, and provide opportunities for discussion about a family's adoption story. Not all books need to mimic your specific adoption story, in fact, I believe it is beneficial for<em> all</em> families to incorporate adoption books into their libraries, whether children were adopted into the family or not, to promote understanding and awareness that families are formed in different ways.</div>
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<u><a href="http://www.allbearsneedlove.com/">All Bears Need Love</a></u> is a little gem that I was recently introduced to and will be adding to my own family's collection. Written by Tanya Valentine and illustrated by Adam Taylor, this adorable and charming story talks about a polar bear in a zoo who became "mama" to a little brown cub. Various animals make inquiries about where the cub came from, how they can become family if they don't look similar, and whether the cub will "fit in" or not. The kind, caring, and reassuring answers, from the polar bear mama, to these expected questions reinforce the theme that<em> love is what makes a family.</em></div>
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This story, appropriate for even the youngest children, fills a gap in adoption literature with a straightforward tale addressing issues of transracial adoption, past history of an adopted child, and a parent's capacity to care for more than one child with various needs, backgrounds, and stories. <u><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bears-Need-Love-Tanya-Valentine/dp/1480184810/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358452512&sr=1-1&keywords=all+bears+need+love">All Bears Need Love</a></u> will be included in my recommendations for adoptive parents seeking domestic or international adoption and would make an excellent gift for new adoptive parents - head over to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bears-Need-Love-Tanya-Valentine/dp/1480184810/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358452512&sr=1-1&keywords=all+bears+need+love" target="_blank">Amazon</a> to order your copy. </div>
<br />Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-34313635292339529912013-06-07T07:00:00.000-04:002013-06-07T07:00:07.061-04:00How Adoptive Parents Can Help Birth Parents Tell A Positive Adoption Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's no secret - adoptive parents are usually strong and outspoken advocates for adoption. When someone shares that they have either adopted a child or placed a child for adoption, it usually opens up a window of previously undisclosed information leading to a lengthy exchange of experiences and stories. The conversation typically begins like this - "I have a friend who has a neighbor who had a sister who..."</div>
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In the age of technology and advanced tools for advertising, the strongest "advertising" still comes from personal experience that is passed along by word of mouth. <br />
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Did you know that adoptive parents can be extremely influencial in whether their child's birth parent is a positive advocate for adoption or not? From talking with hundreds of birth parents over the years, it has come to our attention that the happiest and most secure birth parents have been treated with unconditional love and respect from their child's adoptive family while the birth parents who have had the most difficulty accepting their adoption decision have been connected with adoptive families who didn't follow through with their initial promises and expectations.<br />
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I'm not naive enough to think that there will never be a situation, in either the birth family or adoptive family, that will cause the frequency of visits or contact to change, but it seems that the most damage is done when these issues are not discussed and the adoptive family retreats from contact with no explanation. The conversation may be difficult, but we, as adults, are not promised a life without difficult and honest talks. A lack of explanation introduces a whole new group of unanswered questions for birth parents that leads to insecurity, worry, and uncertainty.<br />
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So, how can you best advocate for adoption? Treat your child's birthparents with unconditional love, respect, and honesty and they will have a positive story to tell the next time someone begins an adoption conversation about their friend's neighbor's sister...<br />
<br />Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-40844282283094688222013-05-24T07:00:00.000-04:002013-05-24T07:00:00.527-04:00Birthday Reflections from a Birthmom<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-769a7b87-8fbe-a0b8-9a10-6fa181a6e022" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Today is my son’s fifth birthday. The emotions that have coursed through my body regarding this topic have been tumultuous and exhausting. I am not quite sure how it is that my body knows that today is April 15</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I understand that my mind is capable of differentiating one day from another, but it is a mystery to me how my body knows. But my body <em>does know</em> – I can tell by the physical manifestations of grief written all over my body from head to toe, inside and out. Once I read that our “gut” has as many nerve endings as our brain and this perhaps explains the knots and pit of emotions I can feel in my stomach. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This morning as I was brushing my teeth & getting ready for the day, I was struck by how I am still coming to grips with the permanency and far reaching effects of my decision to place Joshua for adoption. I don’t know where the days went, slipping by so quickly, becoming weeks, months, and years. It’s hard to believe the baby I held in my arms is already 5. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It’s not that I thought that it would be an easy, snap decision – <em>quite the opposite</em>. But it is impossible to fully understand the hard reality and full meaning of permanency until you live it, day after day. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I thought that it would get easier – and some days it is easier. But some days it isn’t; some days I can feel my decision heavy on my chest, as if I am making it all over again. Sometimes the weight of my decision is as heavy as the day I left my son in the hospital to be picked up later that same day by his “forever family” and to go home with a new mommy. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And today this decision feels so permanent, so thick, and so tangible. I can feel the deep emptiness from the piece of my heart that I gave to him and he takes wherever he goes. Does he know he has my heart? Does he know how much I love him? <em>I think he does</em>. When I visited & played with him this past weekend, his beautiful blue eyes looked into mine and I saw the deep, simple trust of a child who knows he is deeply and unconditionally loved. And it’s in that moment that <strong>it is all worth it</strong>.</span></div>
Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-21134616653238476222013-05-10T14:34:00.000-04:002013-05-10T14:34:22.167-04:00Families Don't Have To Match...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<em>Our guest blogger, Amy, is wife to marc, Mommy to Caroline and Jameson (who both joined the family through adoption), and a woman of God with a refreshingly honest view of life. </em><br />
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Go on, let's be honest.<br /><br />The words <strong><span style="font-size: medium;">"transracial adoption"</span> </strong>can be a little scary for
many people considering adoption. <br /><br />Maybe uncomfortable might be a better
word.<br /><br />Perhaps it's because inherent within those two simple words,
<i>transracial adoption</i>, is an idea of forever committing oneself to another
who is utterly different than you. Outside of you.<br /><br />Perhaps it's
uncomfortable because it means entering into that which you feel overwhelmingly
unqualified.<br /><br />Opening yourself up to another culture.<br />Opening yourself
up to looking different than the "typical" family.<br />Risking hurtful comments
or stares from others.<br /><br />You might even wonder, who wants to sign up for
<i>THAT?!?</i><br /><br />You see, I never dreamed <i>my</i> family would be a
transracial one. The picture in my head of what my family would look like
someday always included children that looked like me. I knew I wanted to adopt.
But I didn't want it to <i>look </i>like I had adopted.<br /><br />My husband was
quite the opposite. He's had a dream of having a black son for a number of
years, but together we decided that for now, we weren't up for inviting the
stares and the questions that a transracial adoption was sure to bring.<br /><br />I
would look at other transracial families with such deep admiration, but the
thought that <i>my </i>family could be transracial never seriously crossed my
mind before we began the adoption process. Sometimes I secretly longed to hear
more about how they came to open their hearts to a child of another race. But I
didn't dare ask.<br /><br />Lo and behold, who knew I would be the one joining their
ranks?!<br /><br />Until, of course, the Lord worked beautifully upon my heart. At
just the right time, He broke through so many of my fears, my hesitations, my
desires for what was comfortable, and He gave me the most amazing gift of my
life. <br /><br />I'm now a proud, <i>proud</i> mama to the <i>cutest</i>
half-Haitian, half-African American baby boy!<br /><br />If you've grown up "lily
white" like me, discussions of race weren't necessarily around your dinner
table. We were taught <i>not </i>to see color. Thus, most of us are blind to
issues that people with color know all too well because we're so busy not seeing
it. White culture wants to teach us that race is only skin deep, but deep down,
I think we all know it's not quite that simple. And what I'm finding is that
as I come to embrace another culture as rich as Jameson's, I'm seeing more
clearly the ugliness in my own. <br /><br />My eyes are being opened to realities
like white privilege and systemic racial discrimination that I ignorantly
thought were long gone. I never had to think about these things at this level.
<br /><br />But now I have a black son. So it's personal. <br /><br />And now I'm
finding myself a little sad how silent and truly ignorant we in the white
community are in these matters. <br /><br />But the process of adoption begins to
bring some of these things to light. <br /><br />I'm convinced that couples entering
the adoption process are one of the few people who are forced to face their own
built-in, deeply-rooted ideas and stereotypes of various cultures and races and
analyze them. <br /><br /><i>Are we open to a baby that doesn't look like us?</i>
<i>Can we love a child of a different ethnicity? </i>And if so, <i>how far away
from our culture or skin color are we willing to go? How would our families and
our community react? </i><br /><br />Even the uncomfortable job of filling out a
child acceptance form begins a work in our hearts to ask ourselves very hard,
soul-searching questions. <br /><br />And that's a good thing.<br /><br />For some, the
thought of crossing racial and cultural lines comes extremely easy. They might
come to adoption with the initial hopes of adopting transracially.<br /><br />For
some like me, it was a little larger expanse to cross. I considered it, and I
admired it in others' families. But I wasn't quite ready to commit to it for my
family.<br /><br />And for others, it will never be considered or embraced, often
for legitimate reasons. <br /><br />Now, I think it should go without saying that
adopting transracially is not for everyone, and those who do not adopt outside
of their culture or color should never face any condemnation for deciding what
is best for their family. It's important that any child have a family <i>and
</i>a loving extended family where he/she can feel no different than any other
family member.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>So how, then, did I cross
the line to sign up for transracial adoption?</strong></span><br /><br />As one who initially
wanted to take on the <i>least </i>amount of risk into my family, it's not that
easy to explain the changes that took place in my heart. I can only attribute
it to the slow, patient, transforming work of the Holy Spirit.<br /><br />I can also
look back and see that even though transracial adoption may not have been on
<i>my</i> radar screen, God was working sovereignly behind the scenes through
others around me and through circumstances in my life. He was perfectly setting
the stage long before I would see it:<br />
<ul>
<li>My husband's brother and sis-in-law got permanent custody of five biracial
children. We watched the extended family adjust and embrace them, as we felt
our own hearts falling in love with each of them, too. We felt ourselves
wondering how could we <i>not </i>love any child, no matter their skin
color?</li>
<li>Through mission trips with Sunshine Gospel Ministries in southside Chicago,
our own fears and prejudices were exposed in light of the goodness of the
Gospel, which is that we have a Savior who came to call ALL nations and races to
Himself! Adoption is a tiny picture of how God adopts those from all walks of
life into His family.</li>
<li>Over the years, we watched as many of our friends adopted transracially,
loving children just as if they had born them themselves. They were so
inspirational to us.</li>
<li>In our adoption journey just one month prior to our son's birth, we faced a
rejection from a birthmother for a caucasian son. It was so, SO painful. But
it was through that pain, God helped us to see our calling wasn't to look like
everyone else. (Just like it took the pain of infertility for God to lead us to
His plan A: adoption!) </li>
</ul>
<div>
I could share so many more details, but the point is that <span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>God was working all around me, all along.</strong>
</span></div>
<br />
<div>
And it's only now that I can see how clearly He was weaving all of those
stories together for <i>my</i> story.</div>
<br />
<div>
Adopting transracially feels intensely and unbelievably rewarding and
enriching. <span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>Jameson has brought color to our
life!</strong></span> It has naturally opened doors and given us cultural experiences
and interactions that we wouldn't have known otherwise. I don't just see black
people now-- I <i>need</i> them! (What does a white girl like me know about
helping my son navigate black culture, after all?) </div>
<br />
<div>
Now that I'm on the other side of transracial adoption, I can't help but
feel a twinge of sadness for those who <i>haven't</i> yet experienced it! ha!
:) Wow, God's providence is amazing.</div>
<br />
<div>
And good grief, I couldn't love my son any more if his skin were light.
He's <i>mine.</i> <span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>Families don't have to match.
God's family certainly doesn't!</strong></span></div>
<br />
<div>
But I'm not naive. There are certainly going to be challenges to adopting
transracially, too.</div>
<br />
<div>
We've always been the "adoption people." Our five-year old daughter is
adopted, too, but because she shares our skin color, we have always been more in
control of when we shared about her adoption. But now? It's more obvious that
we're THE adoption people. Jameson's skin puts it "out there," which means we
get more questions and a few more stares. In the years to come, we will HAVE to
talk lots about race in our family and the shameful history between whites and
blacks. Unfortunately in addition to all the regular parenting stuff, we'll
have to prepare our son for the moments of racial discrimination he will
inevitably face in his life. </div>
<br />
<div>
It's all a balance, though.</div>
<br />
<div>
Being a transracial family is a <strong><span style="font-size: medium;">unique
balancing act in being aware of race and being pro-active about it, yet being
careful not to <i>over</i>-emphasize race</span>,</strong> as it's only one of many
factors that define who we are. </div>
<br />
<div>
In one sense, we don't want to ignore it. It isn't <i>just</i> skin. I
want my son to be able to navigate comfortably between both white and black
culture.</div>
<br />
<div>
But in another sense, we don't want to overdo it. Race is a big part of
us, but it isn't the only thing that makes us who we are. We share WAY more
commonalities with our son than differences. We're ALL made in His image.</div>
<br />
<div>
So there you have it.</div>
<br />
<div>
I still have lots more questions than answers about transracial adoption.
I'm certainly no expert. </div>
<br />
<div>
Some days I find myself looking into my six month old's big, beautiful
brown eyes and apologizing for my white-ness. </div>
<br />
<div>
Some days I worry I'll screw him up. </div>
<br />
<div>
Some days I don't really "know" what I'm supposed to be doing. (does
<i>any </i>parent, adoptive or biological?) </div>
<br />
<div>
But I've got a little baby boy to raise...And he's got a white family that's crazy about him...And I couldn't be more grateful to the Lord for all He has done.</div>
Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-32106159062474548802013-05-01T16:20:00.000-04:002013-05-01T16:20:42.944-04:00The Adventures Of An Adoption Social Work Intern<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GTSTYGRidvA/UYF3oT6bbBI/AAAAAAAAAeM/jt32PfsVIC4/s1600/Paige.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GTSTYGRidvA/UYF3oT6bbBI/AAAAAAAAAeM/jt32PfsVIC4/s320/Paige.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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My name is Paige and I had the privilege of spending my last
semester of college as a social work intern with <a href="http://www.familylifeservices.org/">Family Life Services</a>. As a Longwood University social work student I
was required to complete two internships.
I completed my 180-hour junior year internship with a local Department
of Social Services. I learned a lot at
DSS, but since the day I decided to be a social worker I knew I wanted to work
in the field of adoption. Since I wanted
to come home to do my internship, my advisor told me about Family Life
Services. She knew about my values and
felt that this agency was a perfect match for me and she was right! I went for
an interview with J.J. in December and started my internship in January. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If you
don’t already know, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/familylifeservices">Family Life Services</a> is such an amazing adoption
agency. I learned immediately how much
they value and care for each and every birth parent and adoptive family. During my time at FLS, I was able to meet
birth parents, prospective adoptive couples, families who went through the
domestic adoption process, families who went through the international adoption
process, and I also worked with the staff and residents at the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/godparenthome">Liberty Godparent Home</a>. Needless to say, I was
exposed to every element of adoption and I absolutely loved it! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Right away Deanne started letting me
work more independently than I had even anticipated. After shadowing her and Rachel on a few post
placement visits, I was able to start doing these visits on my own. FLS works with the sweetest, most caring,
Christian families and seeing the pure joy on their faces during these visits
touched my heart. My favorite experience
was seeing an adoption placement. Seeing
a couple that had waited so long to be parents, holding their new baby was just
amazing. I wish I could experience
placement day every day! I learned
quickly though, that with adoption, there’s also a sense of sadness. I shadowed Rachel during birth mother
counseling and went with her to the hospital several times to see birth mothers
after they gave birth. Amongst the
happiness of adoption, I think it’s quick for many of us to forget that while
others are celebrating, the birth family is grieving. This experience was the most challenging part
of my internship. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I had to go
back to Longwood three times during this semester for Senior Seminar (even
though I would have much rather been at FLS).
This is where all the senior social work students get back together and
discuss how their internships are going, give presentations, and turn in
papers. As we went around the room to
share, many of my peers had complaints about their internships, but when it was
my time to share I gladly talked about my experiences and was happy to state
that I had no complaints; I love my internship!
I was always the student in my social work classes to write research
papers on adoption and did many presentations about adoption and teen
pregnancy. I can’t tell you how many
papers I wrote or how many presentations I did on adoption, but I learned more
this semester, at Family Life Services, than I ever did my three and a half
years in classes (just don’t tell my professors!).<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will
forever be grateful for the few months I spent getting to know and working with
Deanne, Rachel, Rose, and J.J. and the birth mothers and adoptive families I
had the pleasure of meeting and working with.
I will continue to pray for each and every one of you and will miss you
all! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-76985901196793300192012-04-17T12:26:00.000-04:002012-04-17T12:26:50.074-04:00Gift Suggestions for Birthmother's Day, Mother's Day & Waiting Adoptive Moms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_o1202iRxHE/T42ZbYkAq0I/AAAAAAAAAeA/yxOTyyS0TVI/s1600/I+can+do+hard+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" qda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_o1202iRxHE/T42ZbYkAq0I/AAAAAAAAAeA/yxOTyyS0TVI/s320/I+can+do+hard+things.jpg" width="213px" /></a></div>May will soon be there and with it brings the weekend of Birthmother's Day (May 12th) and Mother's Day (May 13th) - these are times that are celebrated by some and dreaded by many. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, it is a time to be recognized as it is an emotional time for women connected to adoption.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite gift companies for this particular holiday weekend is <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/therhouse?ref=seller_info">The R House Couture</a>. I have several of their custom pieces and have been happy with both the quality of the items and their customer service. The deadline for Mother's Day weekend orders is May 1st, so start shopping, customizing and ordering now!<br />
<br />
<u><strong>Some of my personal favorite gift suggestions:</strong></u><br />
<br />
<strong>For birth mothers</strong>, who are mothers, but find themselves in the midst of this weekend unsure of where they fit into it all.... 1) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/62100369/baby-bracelet-and-matching-birth-mother">Baby Bracelet & Matching Necklace</a> 2) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/48138645/birth-mother-necklace-with-tiny-initial">Birthmother Necklace</a> 3) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/58324148/i-can-do-hard-things-necklace">I Can Do Hard Things Necklace</a><br />
<br />
<strong>For adoptive mothers and/or birth mothers</strong>....1) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/51019677/the-monogram-necklace">Monogram Necklace </a>(for birthmothers with open adoptions) 2) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/94370666/silver-tree-charm-and-pearl-necklace">Silver Tree Charm</a> 3) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/70633391/everything-happens-for-a-reason-round">Everything Happens For A Reason Necklace</a><br />
<br />
<strong>For ladies who are waiting to become mothers through adoption</strong>...1) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/93208673/never-never-never-give-up-necklace-with">Never Give Up Necklace</a> 2) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/59143867/double-heart-hope-necklace">Hope Necklace</a> 3) <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/97447856/eventually-infertility-necklace-with">Eventually Necklace</a>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-70564362041069192362012-04-02T07:00:00.000-04:002012-04-02T07:00:08.924-04:00FLS Has Officially Moved!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9kMt2rGBUjg/T20oDuG4k9I/AAAAAAAAAcs/OQeCOZPQQxw/s1600/FLS+Door.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9kMt2rGBUjg/T20oDuG4k9I/AAAAAAAAAcs/OQeCOZPQQxw/s320/FLS+Door.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>We are settled into our new office space and it's starting to feel like "home"! For those of you who visit Lynchburg periodically and swing by our office, we love those visits and want you to know how to find us the next time you drop by. Although we're in a different location, we are literally just across the sidewalk from our previous office building. <br />
<br />
None of the contact information for the agency has changed and we use the same parking lot that we always have used. Our agency's door is now on the back of the Godparent Home (front side pictured below) and is beside the playground area. <br />
<br />
Some folks have asked why LGH & FLS is now in one building and that's certainly a valid question. Since we are a non-profit organization primarily funded by donations, we want to be very cautious of our expenses and be good stewards of the support we are given. The move has enabled us to lower the overhead of the ministry as we now have operating expenses for one building instead of two and has allowed us to utilize every inch of space in the building on a daily basis. In addition, we now have the opportunity to interact several times a day with the LGH staff and residents, which has already provided greater unity for the ministry staff as a whole. Change is always hard, but these are good changes. Feel free to drop by and tour our new place during office hours!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5JTW9WkjPuc/T20qpca7GXI/AAAAAAAAAc0/tuB6Zc1UH8w/s1600/LGH+Building.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5JTW9WkjPuc/T20qpca7GXI/AAAAAAAAAc0/tuB6Zc1UH8w/s320/LGH+Building.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-71281273459722428762012-03-26T07:59:00.000-04:002012-03-26T07:59:26.149-04:00Happy Adoption Day, Bethany Marie!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UrNWE6VAFA8/T3BWecJ-KEI/AAAAAAAAAc8/_JabSmyCyUo/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UrNWE6VAFA8/T3BWecJ-KEI/AAAAAAAAAc8/_JabSmyCyUo/s320/Sean+and+Shandra1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tlPYQA26_iA/T3BWl5pygSI/AAAAAAAAAdE/Wro1AwPNOJY/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tlPYQA26_iA/T3BWl5pygSI/AAAAAAAAAdE/Wro1AwPNOJY/s320/Sean+and+Shandra2.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsIh7NvpsHk/T3BWtMu4DNI/AAAAAAAAAdM/EYf_90TF4wA/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsIh7NvpsHk/T3BWtMu4DNI/AAAAAAAAAdM/EYf_90TF4wA/s320/Sean+and+Shandra6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Nup_IVrMV3s/T3BWwYQOixI/AAAAAAAAAdU/Lz4IuEvDx2s/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Nup_IVrMV3s/T3BWwYQOixI/AAAAAAAAAdU/Lz4IuEvDx2s/s320/Sean+and+Shandra7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The<em> best</em> days at Family Life Services are when we get to celebrate an adoption placement with an adoptive family and a birth family. Monday, February 27th, was no exception as Sean and Shandra adopted their adorable little girl, Bethany Marie! <br />
<br />
Bethany's birthmother, Anna, and some of her family members shared in this special day as Anna placed her baby girl into the arms of the parents she carefully selected. One of the most emotional moments of placement day is when a birth mother places her child - who has been prayed for, hoped for, and so loved - into the arms of the new mommy or daddy. <br />
<br />
We are amazed that we get to be a small part of the adoption process and are looking forward to seeing the relationship between Sean, Shandra and Anna continue to develop and grow through the days, months, and years to come. Happy Adoption Day!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2orkuHBcgHs/T3BYi3lUBSI/AAAAAAAAAdc/EIR6gATgB1k/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2orkuHBcgHs/T3BYi3lUBSI/AAAAAAAAAdc/EIR6gATgB1k/s320/Sean+and+Shandra3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FdteUJyjEpI/T3BYm2I6tSI/AAAAAAAAAdk/zsVumwBB0Og/s1600/Sean+and+Shandra5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FdteUJyjEpI/T3BYm2I6tSI/AAAAAAAAAdk/zsVumwBB0Og/s320/Sean+and+Shandra5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LGxR6BV4NG8/T3BYrN1_N6I/AAAAAAAAAds/OxF5DpaI0Rc/s1600/sean+and+shandra4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="214" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LGxR6BV4NG8/T3BYrN1_N6I/AAAAAAAAAds/OxF5DpaI0Rc/s320/sean+and+shandra4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-3731824761898365612012-03-23T21:33:00.000-04:002012-03-23T21:33:02.787-04:00Adoption Training Weekend - Resource Links<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="247" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rFv0drfNzYo/T20ePEooOcI/AAAAAAAAAck/dLN--c6qyc0/s320/FLS---Logo---FINAL---transparent-background%5B1%5D.png" width="320" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I told those who attended our training last week that we would post some of our recommended adoption-related websites that, we believe, would be helpful to you so here are the ones we mentioned:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/">Adoptive Families Magazine</a> - We recommend that you subscribe to the publication but also access the hundreds of online articles that are available on the website. The articles are categorized and easy to find!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.resolve.org/">Resolve: The National Infertility Association</a> - Provides links to support groups in various geographic locations in the US.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.pregnantwithhope.com/">Pregnant with Hope</a> - Correlates with the book that we provided to each couple and I recommend that you subscribe to this blog as the posts relate to infertility, building a family, and spiritual encouragement for the journey.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/">Adoption Learning Partners</a> - Offers affordable online classes pertaining to various adoption topics and issues. If you choose to take these classes, please request our agency's code from your caseworker to track our agency as the source of referral.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.myadoptionadvisor.com/">MyAdoptionAdvisor</a> - Offers online, on-demand courses for prospective adoptive parents. We recommend the class on Adoption Networking & Advertising for each couple. FLS has a code for a 15% discount for our clients. Please request the discount code from your caseworker.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.sherrieeldridge.com/">Sherrie Eldridge, Your Adoption Coach</a> - Subscribing to her adoption resources on the website will provide you with access to her blog posts, video clips, etc. in your email box. Author of <em>Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Forever Fingerprints, etc. </em><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.statisticallyimpossible.blogspot.com/">Statistically Impossible</a> - "A birthfather in an open adoption who stuck around." One of the few birthfather voices you will find sharing his story and it is such an important point of view to understand and consider.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.kevinhofmann.com/">My Mind on Paper</a> - Blog written by Kevin Hofmann, a transracially adopted adult and author of <em>Growing Up Black in White</em>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-2062316767090416592012-03-12T08:10:00.000-04:002012-03-12T08:10:07.144-04:00New Beginnings - Adoption Training Weekend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XbmDQYCwJoY/T13k8NTtNCI/AAAAAAAAAcc/Pj1XNWy25bU/s1600/new+beginnings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XbmDQYCwJoY/T13k8NTtNCI/AAAAAAAAAcc/Pj1XNWy25bU/s1600/new+beginnings.jpg" yda="true" /></a></div>We are preparing to host twelve families this week for our Spring Adoption Training Weekend. For FLS, this is one of the first steps in the adoption journey - yet, I am aware that this isn't really the beginning for these couples. Each of them has been through more than we could ever glean from an adoption application. Years of hoping, dreaming, wishing, longing, doctor's appointments, and infertility treatments have led them to this moment...a new beginning.<br />
<br />
Although there is excitement in opening a new chapter, anxiety often accompanies change. On the opening night of our training sessions, emotions typically run high as couples wonder if anyone else has been through experiences similar to theirs and size up what they perceive to be "the competition" in the adoption world.<br />
<br />
I am not naive enough to think that each couple's journey will turn out exactly in the way that they desire - many will - but some may not. My hope is that God has ordained this moment, for each couple, as an integral part of their unique story of adoption...and we're privileged to be a part of this chapter!<br />
<br />
<div align="center"><em>"Every new beginning comes from some other new beginning's end."</em></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-26060895550097080222012-01-11T14:46:00.000-05:002012-01-11T14:46:31.463-05:00My Re-Entry Into The Blogging World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cAljyR_Dpd0/Tw3l3VPSVgI/AAAAAAAAAcA/IY0eACV5dM0/s1600/Parker+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" kba="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cAljyR_Dpd0/Tw3l3VPSVgI/AAAAAAAAAcA/IY0eACV5dM0/s320/Parker+1.jpg" width="240px" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bnzm2dmD5ZY/Tw3l7IQ8-kI/AAAAAAAAAcI/eXZxvn317ZU/s1600/Parker+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" kba="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bnzm2dmD5ZY/Tw3l7IQ8-kI/AAAAAAAAAcI/eXZxvn317ZU/s320/Parker+2.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>It has been awhile since I've taken the time to blog - but there is a good excuse for my temporary break! On November 26th, my husband and I became parents to the sweetest little baby boy we could ever imagine - Parker Isaiah. Parker was born on Thanksgiving weekend and we feel so blessed that God entrusted us with this precious little guy. Although I've had the opportunity to assist many couples with becoming parents, I could never fully appreciate the joy that one little, tiny baby brings to a family until I had the opportunity to experience it for myself. I'm overwhelmed with joy... <br />
<br />
So, I am "officially" on maternity leave until February 6th and then I will return to full-time casework at Family Life Services and will get back in the swing of keeping this blog updated. During my time away, I have had the chance to brainstorm different ideas for the coming year and am excited about putting those ideas into action upon my return. <br />
<br />
Until then...I'm hanging up my "social worker" hat and proudly wearing the hat of "Parker's Mommy" for as long as I can...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TtT57GFl7gI/Tw3mLEXNXJI/AAAAAAAAAcQ/x9sGgiGrBdw/s1600/Parker+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" kba="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TtT57GFl7gI/Tw3mLEXNXJI/AAAAAAAAAcQ/x9sGgiGrBdw/s320/Parker+3.jpg" width="240px" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-8091948950566537362011-12-19T08:00:00.001-05:002011-12-19T08:00:03.867-05:00Chrisno's Story: The Journey from Haiti to his Forever Family - Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sKmioHqq3Wg/TsXQR1h60fI/AAAAAAAAAbs/eGUc0ssYm-A/s1600/Chrisno+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="214" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sKmioHqq3Wg/TsXQR1h60fI/AAAAAAAAAbs/eGUc0ssYm-A/s320/Chrisno+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><em>If you missed Part 1 of William and Darlene's adoption story, go back to the post on December 14th to read how Chrisno's journey began.</em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Even though the size of Chrisno's head did not decrease, as hoped after the surgery and would not get any smaller, Chrisno had improved a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately Chrisno’s reunion didn’t go well with his biological parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They stated they just could not provide for Chrisno in his condition and they would have to place him in an orphanage. We fell in love with this little boy, cared deeply for him, and didn’t want to see him go to an orphanage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We explained the situation to our boys and asked them what they thought of us adopting Chrisno and he would become their little brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> W</span>ithout hesitation, they said, "Yes"!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We knew that an orphanage could not provide him with the attention he would require with his special needs, physical and mental development delays, and visual impairments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been told that a child like Chrisno would not survive in an orphanage and we knew that we could provide him with a loving family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Chrisno stayed with a family in Haiti for four months while we worked on getting the adoption paperwork completed. Chrisno had to come back to the United States for medical treatment and we were able to be his host family, once again. During that time, it became evident that the adoption process was going to be very complicated, expensive, and was not guaranteed to bring the end result of Chrisno joining our family. I began to get very scared and wonder if we were doing the right thing. I came to the conclusion that I<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> knew God had brought Chrisno here for a reason and we had to do everything possible for him. Around that time, I read this <span style="font-family: inherit;">quote: “Doing what is necessary makes things possible, then you find yourself doing the impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God doesn’t ask us to be successful just faithful.”</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The lawyer who was going to help us pursue the adoption advised us to begin in January of 2010 - then the earthquake hit. Although Chrisno was safe in the United States, we didn't know if his parents had survived. We knew they wanted Chrisno to be adopted by our family, but they would need to be found so they could sign their consent. It wasn't until May that we heard that they had survived the devastation in Haiti and we could move forward and complete the adoption process.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Chrisno has been with us for 3 years except when he went back to Haiti for 4 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chrisno is doing so well and he now attends school in a special education class 4 days a week and receives OT, PT, and ST in addition to the therapy he receives at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He can now crawl, pull himself up to a kneeling position and has started to say words and phrases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have started him in piano lessons because of his love of music and we feel this is one thing he can excel at. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wakes every morning about 5:30 a.m. singing, laughing, clapping his hands and cheering for himself - he is full of joy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband and I lie in bed and laugh at him, thinking what a way to start the day. We're so glad that we listened to God's voice and are so proud of all four of our boys!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><em>My youngest son and I have written a children’s book telling how Chrisno became part of the family called </em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1936076225/ref=cm_sw_su_dp"><em>My Little Brother Chrisno</em></a><em>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book is for educational purposes teaching children about adoption, bringing awareness to </em><a href="http://www.angelmissionshaiti.org/"><em>Angel Missions Haiti</em></a><em> and their good works, and is to be used as a ministry tool to spread God's Word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>25% of all proceeds from book sales will go to AMH.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></em></span><em> </em></span></span></span>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-10245313930212863612011-12-14T08:00:00.001-05:002011-12-14T08:00:05.910-05:00Chrisno's Story: The Journey from Haiti to his Forever Family - Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_Cy3fOTmNl8/TsXORSiGrdI/AAAAAAAAAbc/uQRkMseprDs/s1600/chrisno+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_Cy3fOTmNl8/TsXORSiGrdI/AAAAAAAAAbc/uQRkMseprDs/s320/chrisno+3.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
<em>I had the opportunity to work with this remarkable adoptive family who opened their hearts and their home to a special little boy from Haiti with significant medical needs. Adoptive parents, William and Darlene, are the proud parents of four boys and I asked them to share how God showed them that adoption was His plan for their family.</em><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Our family's adoption story began when I was watching a Saturday morning news show and heard Vanessa Carpenter from <a href="http://www.angelmissionshaiti.org/">Angel Missions Haiti</a> (AMH) asking for someone to host a baby from Haiti for 3 to 4 months while he came to the United States for life saving surgery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hosting meant taking a baby into your home and caring for the baby as if it is your own child - supplying clothes, food, diapers, and taking the baby to all medical appointments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All medical care would provided by the charitable acts of a variety of different medical facilities and physicians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more I thought about it, I thought my husband and I could do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was a way we could teach our three children a life lesson of helping others and a way for us, as a family, to do the Lord's work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I called AMH to find out how to apply and discovered that the child's name was Chrisno Jeudi, he was about 20 months old and he had hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fluid on the brain was causing pressure resulting in headaches and constant pain. Chrisno could only lie on his back with cushions under him to try to make him comfortable. He was in need of surgery to have a shunt inserted to slowly drain the fluid off his brain. Without the procedure, the fluid would build up and he would die.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">After a series of unexpected delays, Chrisno arrived to the United States in September of 2008. <span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The first time I held him I was so afraid, he was difficult to hold due to the size of his head and I couldn’t cuddle him. Chrisno’s head circumference was almost 30 inches and weighed about 22 pounds and his total body weight was only 27 pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vanessa had sent me a picture and I knew his head was big but I never could have imagined that it was so big or so heavy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I soon realized that this was going to be along three months and prayed for God to give me the strength to be the best caregiver I could possibly be.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">He had his second birthday with us and, at 2 years old, he was unable to hold his own bottle. He had developmental delays and he could not roll over, sit upright or crawl due to the size of his head. His vision also had been affected leaving him visually impaired. We started working with him and before long he was holding his bottle. We could tell after surgery he was feeling much better and he started smiling at us and the boys would make him laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally found a song that he liked that seemed to calm him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was “I love you, you love me” the Barney song, at least he laughed when I sang it, I don’t know if he liked my singing or he thought it was funny! I started feeling a bond with him and I wanted to protect him and keep him safe. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">My heart went out to Chrisno's Mom and Dad, knowing that they had to send their baby to another country to save his life. They couldn’t go with him, be there to hold his little hand and comfort him. The impact of what we were actually doing started to hit me; God had chosen us to do his work. The boys also helped, each in his own way and showed him so much attention and compassion. The boys would play with Chrisno and make him laugh. Everyone loves to hear Chrisno laugh and it is so contagious. Chrisno loves music and we are a musical family. The 3 months seemed to fly by and Chrisno spent Christmas with us. We had worked with Chrisno and he started holding his own bottle at night and using a sippy cup during the day. We had started feeding him real food and we taught him to feed himself. We saw huge improvements in his physical and mental development and I was able to help develop a brace to support his head so he could sit in a high chair and stand in a walker.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">He went back home to Haiti in January of 2009 and we were happy and sad at the same time. We were going to miss Chrisno but we were so happy and excited for Chrisno’s parents to see all his accomplishments. </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><strong>Check back to read Part 2 to hear how Chrisno returned to become a part of this family...forever.</strong></span></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><strong></strong></span></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tK4KsQFnKYQ/TsXOzEcYxkI/AAAAAAAAAbk/C67omjziZA8/s1600/chrisno+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="282" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tK4KsQFnKYQ/TsXOzEcYxkI/AAAAAAAAAbk/C67omjziZA8/s320/chrisno+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-26484475065286433092011-12-12T08:00:00.001-05:002011-12-12T08:00:05.438-05:00Happy Adoption Day, Aidan!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DpoGJvDoEV0/TsV9ndN7B2I/AAAAAAAAAbU/A3B4sh5EUYg/s1600/Lance+and+Ragan2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="238" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DpoGJvDoEV0/TsV9ndN7B2I/AAAAAAAAAbU/A3B4sh5EUYg/s320/Lance+and+Ragan2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>FLS waiting adoptive parents, Lance & Ragan, opened themselves up to other opportunities while they were in our program and were able to adopt their sweet, baby boy through successfully networking this fall. Ragan wrote the following to share their family's journey to encourage others.</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Our son has arrived, and even though it has been more than 12 weeks, I can still hardly believe that I am a Mommy and that Lance is a Daddy and that Aidan is really ours forever!! God blew my mind with how He built our family. And He knows exactly what I need. He knows I needed a VERY easy and laid back child for my first one, since I am such an infant novice (and am a little high strung at times!). He knew that it would work better if I had ZERO notice about his birth and our being chosen as his parents, so that I would not be anxious and try to control everything! (Imagine a female doing that!) And He knew that He would give me the strength, the mental, emotional and physical capacity to make so much happen in such a short time, including moving to a new home, flying to Florida to meet our new baby, visiting the NICU daily for just under four weeks, and then finally leaving Florida after five weeks, unpacking boxes and cleaning our new home from top to bottom - oh, and did I mention there is taking care of a newborn in all of this?!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Yes, Lance and I are a glorious testimony of the fact that God will build families His way and in the timing that He determines is best - no matter how we prayerfully (and perhaps tearfully) wrestle with Him to do otherwise. That being said, I know that how "God found us for Aidan" was nothing short of a miracle. We had been in the waiting pool only two months (and we debated even getting in the pool because of Lance's upcoming military deployment), feeling strongly led to jump in, although we thought, "What Mom in her right mind, who wants her child to be in a two-parent home, would place her child with a couple who would be separated for nine months and maybe forever with the dangers of combat?!" </div><br />
Not only this, but we were putting ourselves on hold with FLS on September first, so that we wouldn't lose more time in the pool. And since God loves to come at the 11th hour, He did so with a phone call on the evening of Aug. 29, telling us that Aidan (who we didn't even know was being created!) had been born to a woman in Florida on Saturday the 27th of August. At 5PM on the 30th, we received the call from the case worker that we had been chosen and needed to be on a plane to Florida asap, because Aidan's birthmother wanted to meet us. So, I was on a plane at 11AM on the 31st, while Lance remained behind, because the movers were arriving that day. Throughout the adoption process, I had prayed for an 11 day old baby, because I knew that, in Virginia, the birthmother has ten days to change her mind. And God blew my mind, because He gave us Aidan on day four of his life...this little 4lb 15oz drug-exposed preemie! Only God can do that. He loves to lavish His children with "abundantly more than all we ask or imagine"! And He did so with this one.<br />
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Aidan came to us, not through Family Life Services, but because Deanne sent a previous email about twins needing a home asap and letting us know if we were interested to call the agency involved directly. And so, while I was house hunting, I called and sent all of our info immediately to Utah. And for whatever reason (ONLY GOD!!), the adoption staff at the organization loved us. So they presented us to that birth mother. She didn't choose us, so no twins. Then they presented us to another birthmother - she was interested but also didn't choose us. And then Debbie called from the hospital wanting to place her child and asked the agency to choose the adoptive parents. Unanimously, they chose us. And the rest is history...and now our present and future! <br />
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So all I can say, being on the other side of the infertility and waiting challenges, is hold on to hope and never stop believing that your child will soon be in your arms. Try everything and don't limit God on His method of putting your family together. God knows...He knows I was not equipped for twins! And He knows that Lance and I really wanted a boy first. So, what may seem like a great loss with disappointment when a birthmother doesn't choose any of us, in reality is a tremendous blessing! He knows how you are equipped as well and what you really want and need. And He is a gracious and abundant Provider. <br />
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I pray our story, though rare in so many degrees, will encourage those who have had to wait for their child to arrive and to be chosen as parents and whose trials have been the same as or greater than ours to trust in God and to remain in the Vine, for if you don't, you will feel ashamed of your unbelief when God showers you with His knowing and compassionate love. May God build your family quickly! And may He grant you rich grace and patient understanding if His 'quickly' is not the same as yours. God bless!Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-44232781247712044982011-12-05T08:00:00.001-05:002011-12-05T08:00:11.707-05:00FLS: A New Logo & A New Look<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CnNewhvrvJw/TsVUkx9MUQI/AAAAAAAAAa8/_ZHmpo8_vaM/s1600/FLS---Logo---FINAL---white-background.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="247" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CnNewhvrvJw/TsVUkx9MUQI/AAAAAAAAAa8/_ZHmpo8_vaM/s320/FLS---Logo---FINAL---white-background.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>It was time for <a href="http://www.facebook.com/FamilyLifeServices">FLS</a> to get a new look - so here's a sneak peak at our new logo and building block for our new design. A tree signifies the family trees that are touched by adoption (both birth & adoptive) and the reality that they are grafted into one through the overwhelming love that is evident with adoption. We hope you like it as much as we do!Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-37836510131138861652011-11-28T08:00:00.001-05:002011-11-28T08:00:02.286-05:00Reflections on National Adoption Month from an Adoptive Dad - Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jEvmhTxCkL8/TsVY52ALg_I/AAAAAAAAAbM/Rp6bC6TfVWI/s1600/Kevin+and+Julie+Family+Picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jEvmhTxCkL8/TsVY52ALg_I/AAAAAAAAAbM/Rp6bC6TfVWI/s320/Kevin+and+Julie+Family+Picture.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><em>This is an open letter sent from the heart of an adoptive dad, Kevin, to his local newspaper for National Adoption Month. Kevin and his wife, Julie, adopted two precious sons from Family Life Services, Ethan and Tyler. If you missed Part 1 - go back and read it from last week.</em><br />
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About a year after bringing Ethan home, we started the journey to bring another child into our home. Our first adoption experience didn’t make the wait for the second child any easier. In fact, we faced some extremely trying circumstances with a disrupted adoption before receiving word from Laura that she was pregnant once more and wished to place her second child with us. With incredible joy, we received Tyler into our family in August of 2007. We feel so blessed to be the adoptive parents of two healthy, rambunctious, loving boys who also happen to be biologically related. We don’t view ourselves as parents of adopted children, but rather as parents of children who just happen to be adopted. Although adoption is an important part of our family story, it doesn’t define who we are as a family.<br />
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I know that many don’t understand adoption or the open relationship we share with our sons’ birthmother, a young lady we love and consider to be a part of our family. I remember running into some friends shortly after we brought Ethan home and hearing the comment that adoption “must be the next best thing to having a child of your own.” These were good, well-meaning folks who were simply uneducated about adoption, much as we had once been. We were stunned into silence, but if the same comment were made today, I’d have a ready answer: “Adopting a child is second to none and my children are my own, regardless of how they happened to join the family.” We’ve also heard various statements about how we took the “easy route” by choosing adoption. We can only chuckle at this one – we were subjected to physical examinations, background checks, and home inspections; we filled out reams of paperwork; we shelled out tens of thousands of dollars; and we waited nearly 30 months before Ethan joined the family. Then we did it all again for Tyler. We have no regrets, and adoption has brought incredible joy and laughter and life to our family. Is it for everyone? No, but it was perfect for us.<br />
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So this brings me back to where I started –celebrating November as National Adoption Month. I don’t need parades or parties, or noisemakers in order to celebrate. If I simply remember our family story and how Ethan and Tyler came to us, then every moment we spend together as a family becomes a part of our ongoing celebration of adoption.Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-40384662137199757232011-11-21T08:00:00.002-05:002011-11-21T08:00:04.793-05:00Reflections on National Adoption Month from an Adoptive Dad - Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gxxL0-zr-Bk/TsVWYT7lfMI/AAAAAAAAAbE/Lf38wqwAoHM/s1600/Kevin+and+Julie+Family+Picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gxxL0-zr-Bk/TsVWYT7lfMI/AAAAAAAAAbE/Lf38wqwAoHM/s320/Kevin+and+Julie+Family+Picture.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><em>This is an open letter sent from the heart of an adoptive dad, Kevin, to his local newspaper for National Adoption Month. Kevin and his wife, Julie, adopted two precious sons from Family Life Services, Ethan and Tyler. </em><br />
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It’s hard to believe that the month of November is nearly upon us. November is a month of seasonal change, with leaves falling and frost often glistening on the lawn in the early morning sun. November is when we celebrate Veterans Day and gather with family for Thanksgiving. By the end of November, most of us have put up the Christmas tree and begun earnest preparations for the Christmas holiday. November is fun and hectic and expensive and fattening – I’m thinking of that Thanksgiving turkey – and for all of this and much more, we look forward to the month of November. My family enjoys November for all of these reasons, but we also appreciate the designation of November as National Adoption Month. I realize that the celebration of adoption is not typically on the short list of “important things about November,” but for my family, this celebration is just as meaningful as Thanksgiving, perhaps even more so. We don’t celebrate National Adoption Month with parties and balloons and festivals and parades; rather, our family time becomes just a little bit sweeter as we reflect on the amazing journey that brought us together as a family.<br />
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Like many adoptive families, adoption was not on our radar when Julie and I were married. I don’t have space here to share all of the details that changed our direction, but I will say that when we began to investigate adoption as an opportunity to bring children into our home, many of our preconceived notions about adoption were shattered. Our adoption agency made a great effort to educate us, answer our questions, and help us through the adoption process which can be complex, time-consuming and expensive. Over time, we realized that birthmothers are often just scared young ladies who are taking responsibility for their actions by making the agonizing, heart-wrenching, courageous choice to lovingly place their baby into a caring, stable home which is better-equipped to care for the needs of the child. We realized that open adoption, under the right circumstances, could result in a healthy relationship for the child, the parents, the birthparents, and extended family members. We learned that adoption expenses, while high, are often justifiable and that there are foundations which can help relieve some of the financial burden of adoption. We realized that adoption can be a long, emotionally-draining process. We realized, most importantly, that adoption is not second best.<br />
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I can still vividly remember the first time that Julie and I met Laura at the adoption agency. This young lady and her parents had reviewed a dozen or more profiles, ours among them, which had been submitted to the agency by prospective adoptive parents. She had decided she wanted to meet with us in person. Julie and I had made the drive to Virginia that January morning, and the thought that Laura may select us to parent her child was overwhelming and humbling. I’m actually not sure who was more nervous as we sat and talked that morning, but the conversation flowed easily, and we received word a couple of weeks later that we would be parents of a baby boy. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried like a baby, and had a hard time explaining to Julie why I was sobbing when I called to give her the good news. Ethan was born in February of 2005 and when he officially joined our family in a celebration at the agency, we shed more tears of joy!<br />
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<strong>Check in next week for Part 2 to hear how this family of three became a family of four.</strong>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-28793123264764404872011-11-19T17:00:00.000-05:002011-11-19T17:00:04.251-05:00Who Are You Thankful For Today?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-68incTf_Ofs/TrsEFRF3fqI/AAAAAAAAAaI/FtzmqwVkdig/s1600/thanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" ida="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-68incTf_Ofs/TrsEFRF3fqI/AAAAAAAAAaI/FtzmqwVkdig/s200/thanksgiving.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
Have you noticed that the social media feeds are full of thankfulness this month? It seems fairly easy to write a quick tweet or status update, highlighting something that we appreciate every day. But, how many times do we make the effort to write a note or make a phone call (like we all used to do) to tell <em>someone</em> that we're thankful for them? That's a little more direct and uncomfortable for most of us, but is probably something we should do more often.<br />
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I have been thinking about this for the past week, after my dad told me about a phone call he received out of the blue last week. He has been a preacher for many years and received a phone call from a lady, whom he had not had any contact with in many years, who was calling just to tell him "thank you" for telling her about Jesus sixteen years ago. She shared how <em>that moment </em>made a difference in her life and how she thanks God daily for his life-changing impact on her, as a teenager, that day.<br />
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That turned his day around...not because he had done anything extraordinary...but because of the simple act of hearing "thanks" and realizing that the impact he made was not forgotten. Who has made a difference in your life, in your adoption journey, or in your family - maybe recently or maybe years ago? Will you accept the challenge to step out of your comfort zone and express gratitude this month to that person or group of people who are special in your life?Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-2970073934540159622011-11-07T08:46:00.000-05:002011-11-07T08:46:54.713-05:00Winter Market 2011 - Lynchburg, VAIf you live within driving distance of Lynchburg, VA - you do not want to miss the upcoming <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=216029491756738">Winter Market</a>. Enjoy a holiday shopping experience with vendors offering jewelry, clothing, gourmet food items, home decor, personalized gifts, and much more! Enter to win a free pair of tickets today by going to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/WinterMarketLGF">WinterMarket LGF Facebook page</a> and commenting on the wall photo posted on November 4th - it's that easy.<br />
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All proceeds benefit the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/LibertyGodparentFoundation">Liberty Godparent Foundation</a> which provides funding for <a href="http://www.facebook.com/familylifeservices">Family Life Services</a> and the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/godparenthome">Liberty Godparent Home</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BcKVvKBqTf0/TrfgyQsLv_I/AAAAAAAAAaA/eAstKIjQy6E/s1600/Winter+Market.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" ida="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BcKVvKBqTf0/TrfgyQsLv_I/AAAAAAAAAaA/eAstKIjQy6E/s640/Winter+Market.jpg" width="412" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-30643792817446393612011-10-28T22:24:00.000-04:002011-10-28T22:24:45.480-04:00Happy Adoption Day, Andrew!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="214" ida="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6hTTtUBnDhs/TqtfPvLfdvI/AAAAAAAAAZo/h0C19saFtHM/s320/Andrew2.jpg" width="320" /></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AhajPTe--TU/TqtfRR7jNuI/AAAAAAAAAZw/dmPXYYxNBus/s1600/Andrew1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ida="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AhajPTe--TU/TqtfRR7jNuI/AAAAAAAAAZw/dmPXYYxNBus/s320/Andrew1.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
We celebrated our most recent placement at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/FamilyLifeServices">Family Life Services</a> on Friday, October 21, as new parents, Craig & Carey, adopted their son, Andrew Adam. I'm not sure that I can accurately describe adoption day with a word picture, but the pictures linked in the slideshow below speak for themselves. The birth mother and her parents were a huge part of this day, but pictures are not being shared for privacy reasons. Watching a birth mother fight the emotions of placement day - because she feels that she is doing what's best for her child - is something that never becomes routine at our agency. <br />
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In a similar way, the privilege of watching a young couple, who have prayed faithfully for the day when they would become parents, is overwhelming. On this particular day, I was reminded of how God fits the pieces of families together when the birth family and adoptive family (including extended family members) came together, some of them meeting for the first time, and shared an instant love and respect for one another.<br />
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Andrew is the first child for Craig & Carey, the first grandchild for Craig's parents, and the first grandchild for Carey's parents - do we need to say any more or are you thinking what we're thinking?! Visit this link to see a slideshow of images from<a href="http://www5.snapfish.com/snapfish/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=7462905008/a=75687705_75687705/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish/"> Andrew's Placement Day</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ocOfneLR9-g/Tqtfmltl3EI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/3hABIwA6--k/s1600/Andrew4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ida="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ocOfneLR9-g/Tqtfmltl3EI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/3hABIwA6--k/s320/Andrew4.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-21992631154616522132011-10-21T07:00:00.002-04:002011-10-21T07:00:16.627-04:00Friday's Featured Family: Andy & Patricia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iEL87Qf_YXk/TqAwGBXEfaI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/DJ2VdFIOa-o/s1600/Andy+%2526+Patricia+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213px" rda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iEL87Qf_YXk/TqAwGBXEfaI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/DJ2VdFIOa-o/s320/Andy+%2526+Patricia+1.JPG" width="320px" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ssM5CWCA5lg/TqAwLJ5LxII/AAAAAAAAAZY/VohKpITW_Ec/s1600/Andy+%2526+Patricia+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212px" rda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ssM5CWCA5lg/TqAwLJ5LxII/AAAAAAAAAZY/VohKpITW_Ec/s320/Andy+%2526+Patricia+3.JPG" width="320px" /></a></div><strong>Friday's Featured Family: Andy & Patricia</strong><br />
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<strong>Married since 2006</strong><br />
<strong>Reside in Virginia</strong><br />
<strong>Andy's Occupation: Works for a Nuclear Manufacturing Corporation</strong><br />
<strong>Patricia's Occupation: Works for a Commercial Insurance Company</strong><br />
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Andy and Patricia are an active young couple with strong, traditional family values. They enjoy traveling, spending time with friends and family, being outdoors, and attending live sporting events. Patricia has a kind, sweet personality and is a wonderful cook. She has a heart for others and is great with children. Andy is fun-loving, outgoing, and has a great sense of humor. He is calm, compassionate, creative, and a great problem-solver. Andy and Patricia want to give their child everything that they had growing up: love, attention, great experiences, and cherished memories. Most of all, they want to raise their child to know God’s saving grace and unconditional love and to grow into the person that God has planned for them.<br />
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<strong>Ten Random Facts About Andy & Patricia:</strong><br />
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1. Their families are a huge part of who they are and the people they have become.<br />
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2. Friday nights are their “date nights” together.<br />
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3. Andy’s sense of humor has them laughing on Saturday mornings before they even get out of bed.<br />
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4. Patricia’s nickname is “Squish”.<br />
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5. Their best date was a Christmas light tour in a limo.<br />
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6. They enjoy hiking and other outdoor activities.<br />
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7. Patricia loves to cook and Andy loves to build things.<br />
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8. They have always been involved in serving God and others through their church.<br />
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9. They have 3 nephews and 2 nieces that they have lots of fun with. <br />
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10. They are open to having an ongoing relationship with the birth parents.<br />
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<em>If you would like more information about any of our waiting adoptive families, please contact Family Life Services at </em><a href="mailto:FLS@liberty.edu"><em>FLS@liberty.edu</em></a><em> </em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dKNCuNcqFe8/TqAwvysXuRI/AAAAAAAAAZg/hXl5ZS6PGJE/s1600/Andy+%2526+Patricia+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" rda="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dKNCuNcqFe8/TqAwvysXuRI/AAAAAAAAAZg/hXl5ZS6PGJE/s320/Andy+%2526+Patricia+4.JPG" width="233px" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-24507667039532642202011-10-20T10:05:00.000-04:002011-10-20T10:05:16.625-04:00Winter Market - Nov 18-20 - Lynchburg, VA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you are within driving distance of Lynchburg, Virginia - please make plans to join us for the upcoming Winter Market! Connect with the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/WinterMarketLGF">Winter Market on Facebook</a> or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=216029491756738">Event Page</a> to stay updated and see what vendors will be there.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cnvTGNo-vIU/TqApNJTb0AI/AAAAAAAAAZI/jKsMQU1dLaQ/s1600/WinterMarket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400px" rda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cnvTGNo-vIU/TqApNJTb0AI/AAAAAAAAAZI/jKsMQU1dLaQ/s400/WinterMarket.jpg" width="397px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2945107761363936837.post-54367057176395928012011-10-12T10:29:00.000-04:002011-10-12T10:29:14.223-04:00Cameron's Story: 16 & Pregnant - Part 4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dwhN_U_3Egs/TpWjHpFopxI/AAAAAAAAAYw/AcSSMiZSYcA/s1600/cameron%2527s+story+part+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" oda="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dwhN_U_3Egs/TpWjHpFopxI/AAAAAAAAAYw/AcSSMiZSYcA/s320/cameron%2527s+story+part+4.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><em>FLS Birthmom, Cameron, has graciously allowed us to follow along as she shares her personal journey of teenage pregnancy. If you haven't been following along, make sure to go back to read <a href="http://flsadoption.blogspot.com/2011/09/camerons-story-16-pregnant-part-1.html">Part 1</a>, <a href="http://flsadoption.blogspot.com/2011/09/camerons-story-16-pregnant-part-2.html">Part 2</a> & <a href="http://flsadoption.blogspot.com/2011/10/camerons-story-16-pregnant-part-3_05.html">Part 3</a>. Her story is one of intense emotion, struggling faith, and ultimate victory.</em><br />
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Adoption day came and I was so excited I couldn’t stop shaking. Pat and Roger walked in and my heart fluttered. I wanted to yell and say - wait until you see him, he is PERFECT. The foster mom brought Ryan in and Roger and Pat fluttered with emotions. They smiled and cried and smiled some more. They hugged me and said “Thank you so much. He is beautiful”. He certainly was the most beautiful baby. I left there knowing that I had made the best decision. “Thank you God”, I whispered. <br />
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Over the next few weeks Pat and I kept in touch often. She would tell me all the new things he was doing and I would tell her about my day. Since Ryan’s birth, we have continued to have regular contact and they send me numerous updates. From day one...they have been a part of my family. I couldn’t ask for anything better.<br />
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I was so blessed that the Lord was there with me. He let me know that Ryan belonged to Pat and Roger. I was thankful for that. Of course, there were tears and hurt and mixed feelings, but in the end it all worked out. When I see Ryan now I don’t hurt, I don’t cry anymore and my heart is happy. I didn’t place him for adoption because I didn’t want him. I placed him because I loved him. <em>I always will</em>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2OmbQdsLjgU/TpWj6XAGVNI/AAAAAAAAAZA/VK489G1DXnw/s1600/Roger+%2526+Pat+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" oda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2OmbQdsLjgU/TpWj6XAGVNI/AAAAAAAAAZA/VK489G1DXnw/s320/Roger+%2526+Pat+5.JPG" width="213px" /></a></div>Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17376870579887838251noreply@blogger.com0