Intentional Living

I can honestly say that I am blessed to, not only work in an office with professionals who share a common passion for adoption, but also work in a place where we have a common faith and belief that God is in control of our everyday lives. 

From a professional standpoint, this belief is what carries us through the most stressful of adoption situations and emotional ups and downs.  Our job is to provide counseling and services to the best of our ability and ensure the safety of children - not to force a parenting or adoption decision on any birth parent.  Ultimately, God is in total control and I have seen Him work out details through divine intervention to place an infant with an adoptive family; similarly, I have seen Him open doors for a birth parent who felt that they had no support to successfully parent and make a way for them to have a bright future for themselves and their child.  What a burden is lifted when we realize that we are powerless and He is powerful.

During the last year, our staff, birth families, and adoptive families have experienced a variety of sudden losses of both family and friends.  The idea that "our days are numbered" has been central to many conversations within the office.  Although grief and loss are difficult and painful to work through, this has resulted in a renewed focus to be intentional in our lives, to embrace our ultimate purpose, and to wholeheartedly strive to make every day count.  Life is too short to sit around and ponder the past or worry about what the future may bring.  We can't change the past or control the future, but we can influence the present.  Let's live every day as if it were the last and see what a difference a day makes...

Fresh Ideas for Communicating with Birth Parents using Photographs

For most adoptive families, sending photographs and updates to birth parents via letters, pictures, video clips, etc. has become a regular part of the relationship-building process between adoptive and birth families.  However, this can become monotonous after months and months of sending groups of pictures of a posed, smiling baby or perfectly groomed family in front of a picturesque landscape.  One of our adoptive families, Jesse and Jenny, started taking pictures of themselves and their son, Elijah, with signs that simply showed his age, a simple message, etc. I absolutely love the concept and they make wonderful, artistic, frame-worthy images for the birth parents.

There are other ways to incorporate your child's personality, activities, and even temperament into the catalogue of photos.  Consider these suggestions as a starting point to taking some creative photos of small children "in action":

• Small children are rarely still, looking at a camera - so don't stress.  Catch them on the move and from different angles (ie. photograph them taking unsteady steps from behind, walking holding the hands of a parent, running barefoot through the grass, picking dandelions, running through the sprinkler, enjoying an ice cream cone, etc.)
• Catch the child blowing bubbles outdoors and have them blow bubbles at the camera while taking a close-up shot of their face
• Capture a moment of them studying something new and interesting as they try to figure it out (ie. the baby and the family dog/cat studying one another, staring at an aquarium full of colorful fish, etc.)
• Don't be afraid to show the "real" moments once in awhile by catching them in an unconventional way such as when they are snoozing, pouting, or even having a royal temper tantrum....they are just kids, right?

The main thing to remember is to have fun with it!  Send great pictures to the birth parents as they are treasured far above any other material thing that you could send, but don't always worry about sending pictures that make the child look like they are perfect all the time...that is unrealistic for even the best of children and parents.

WFL 2010 T-Shirts Are Still Available

We have a limited number of Walk for Life 2010 T-shirts still available and we would love to share them with you!  The Godparent Home girls tie-dyed children's t-shirts (above) that are all unique in patterns and color combinations.  All T-Shirts are Gildan Ultra-Cotton (Pre-shrunk) and have been tie-dyed:  sizes available are 2T, 3T, and 4T.

In addition, we have adult t-shirts available that are also Gildan Ultra-Cotton (Pre-shrunk) and are white (corporate sponsors listed on the back as well).  However, we would be happy to have them tie-dyed, by special request, if you would rather jazz it up a bit:  sizes available are M, L, and XL.

Whether you were able to join us for the Walk for Life or you were unable to be here, this is a fun way to show your support for our ministry.  The suggested donation for each t-shirt is $5 and we'll be happy to mail them to you at no extra charge.  Sizes are first come, first served, so email me at dhamlette@liberty.edu if you wish to request some t-shirts.

Watch the Mountains

Nate and Sara completed the adoption of their two children, Eden and Caleb, from Ethiopia in 2009.  Sara skillfully and beautifully documents their adoption journey in her blog, Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.  Visit her blog and you will be blessed, encouraged, and will be able to relate to the honest feelings behind each post.  "Watch The Mountains" is being used, by permission, from her entry on May 3, 2010.

I think we’ll always wonder if certain behaviors from our children are a result of their past before they were adopted, or even a result of the adoption process itself.

They both have taken to crawling into my arms and asking if they can “be Mommy’s baby.” This comes with requests for me to walk with them, rock them, “burp” them, hold them close and show them off.

“Please show Daddy mommy’s baby,” Caleb says.

“Of course,” I say. “Daddy, do you see that I am holding the most precious baby God has ever made … his name is Caleb Asnaka. And he’s all mine.”

Caleb’s eyes sparkle with deep contentment.

And although she demonstrates no mental delays, Eden continues to have a hard time grasping that she won’t again get to be a baby. She says often: “when I grow up and then I get to be a baby.” Does she have a sense of what she lost? Dehydrated of opportunities to be held, cuddled, nurtured?

As Caleb’s attachment has progressed … and progressed … and progressed, I am seeing more of his tender heart emerge. He cries when his sister is hurt. Any sense of fear sends him bolting to me and clawing his way up and around my neck. He gives lots of “surprise kisses.” (I’ve decided not to tell him that the warning that they’re coming negates the very surprise he plants.)

Is he so tender because of the early years of his life spent with so much uncertainty?

I don’t know that we’ll ever know the answers to these questions, but one thing I am certain of is this: being orphaned for a day–or, as with Eden, for nearly 4 years–has a profound impact on a child’s life. I can barely stand to think about what would have happened to my precious children had they not been in our home.

And there are millions of others like them. Imprinted with the DNA of God, called “His sons and daughters”, and left to starve on the streets. World-influencers, at the bottom of the food chain … forgotten.

But not by Him.

We pray in our house that God would bring the “little boys and girls without mommies and daddies into families.” But there are some not in line to be brought into families. More than some. And when we pray about them, we pray that God would be their great Daddy.

Maybe forgotten by their biological parents. Maybe forgotten by the world. Maybe overlooked by the passer-by on the street. But not by God.

While we wait on the “go ahead” for our next adoption and for some other orphan-related work He has put on our hearts, this prayer has become more frequent: God, be their Daddy.

Let the stories that emerge from these orphaned lives be ones that speak of a God who is a father to the fatherless (Psalm 86). Let the orphans of the earth rise up and call Him Father.

Our adoption has made an impact. When we look at those two lives, our measurements suggest a size-able dent. But these prayers of ours have the ability to move mountains.

So do yours.

Let us not, in our rush to “just do something”, forget that all power lies in His hands.

Our plumb line to Him is our first form of advocacy.

Nate and I love advocacy on behalf of orphans and the poor. But could it be that all those Scriptural encouragements to pray, to cry out, is where the real work begins? Evidence continues to confirm to me that the place of prayer–seeking His face and His heart, not our solutions and our plans–brings “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3).

Give it a week. Or a month. Or a year. Set your plans for the passion that’s burning in your heart aside. And pray. Ask God for His heart, His plans, His strategies. And listen.

And (urgh) wait.

It’s probably bigger than you ever thought, maybe more challenging, requiring you to be more anonymous while He is lifted up … but certainly a lot more fun.

Then watch the mountains.

Mark 11:22-24 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.