Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Cameron's Story: 16 & Pregnant - Part 1

Over the next several weeks - we have the privilege of sharing with you "Cameron's Story".  She is one of the birth moms who placed her son with Roger & Pat, who were recently featured in this blog post.  Cameron has graciously allowed us to follow along as she shares her personal journey of teenage pregnancy.  Her story will be broken up into several parts, that will be posted every Wednesday.  Her story is one of intense emotion, struggling faith, and ultimate victory.

We have all heard or seen the show Sixteen and Pregnant. In my opinion, the show seems to glorify the fact of being pregnant at sixteen or sometimes even younger. It portrays stories of young girls who discover they are pregnant and the process of their pregnancy. Most of the girls are excited to be pregnant and can’t wait to be a mom. I have to say, personally, I didn’t experience the same feelings. I never once felt excited to be pregnant, I never dreamed of being a teenage mother, I never fantasized about showing my child off to my friends in name brand clothing or thought about how great it would be to have a baby of my own. In fact it was quite opposite. I was scared and ashamed. My journey was completely different - here is my story.

Sixteen. Pregnant. This can’t be. When I wake up tomorrow this will be just a nightmare. But I never woke up from it. What am I going to do? How can I tell my family? My dad is going to be so angry. I will be grounded for life. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. But it was my reality. My dad always taught me to wait until marriage. I was terrified.

I continued my daily life, hiding my secret from my friends and church family. I wouldn’t go to church because I couldn’t face God. What about abortion? That’s my easy way out. Yeah, that’s what I will do. That’s the best idea. I will be free of all this and can move on. I came to my dad and informed him of my decision. I didn’t expect the reaction I got, considering Dad was just as embarrassed as I was. I heard these words - “No way. You are not getting an abortion. That is a life inside of you and you will not murder an innocent child. I did not raise you to take the easy way out and I will not condone you sinning against the Lord.” What? No. He was wrong. I can’t believe he said that. Fine. I will figure out a way to get this done on my own.

Later that week my dad approached me and said that we were going for a ride. Where does he plan on taking me? Baby shopping? It was a long drive of silence to Lynchburg, VA. We pulled into the parking lot. Where are we? What is this? We walked through the door of the Godparent Home and were greeted by a lady who led us to her office. I looked around and noticed that this was a home for pregnant teens. My dad was forcing me to move in here? It’s not fair. No. I am not staying here. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much choice. I was still a minor and this is what my Dad thought was best. I am in my new home for the next seven months. Great. Thanks a lot Dad. Thanks for the “support”.

A few days passed and I hated the place. I refused to make friends and, for the most part, I kept to myself. I realized that I wasn’t going to get my abortion and I was stuck with a baby. I attended many lectures about being a parent and adoption. I can’t give my child up. This is my blood. I would never. These people are crazy. There has to be another way out of this.

My dad came up to visit because he wanted to talk in person. He sat me down in a quiet room and explained to me that he wanted me to pray over this. He begged me to seek God. “Just give Him a chance Cameron. For me please”. Fine. What was it going to hurt? After all, I had plenty of time on my hands. So I began to pray every night. I never heard a word and He still wasn’t helping me.

Remember to check back in with The Journey of Adoption next Wednesday to read more of Cameron's Story.

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