I Love Adoption Print - The R House Couture

I am a huge fan of high quality, specialty, adoption items and The R House Couture has been on the top of my list of favorite retailers this year.  They make adorable adoption-themed t-shirts & onesies, custom silver jewelry, and now have some adoption prints available. 

The 8 x 10 I Love Adoption Print pictured above caught my eye this week as it would fit in nicely with a modern home decor, would look great in an adopted child's bedroom, or would be a fantastic addition to a photo-collage frame created for a birth parent for a holiday gift! 

Head on over to their shop and choose some meaningful and beautiful gifts to get a jump on the shopping season...you won't be disappointed.

The R House Couture - Custom Adoption Jewelry & Gifts

I have learned so much since this blog was launched.  Connections made with other adoption professionals, organizations, birth parents, and adoptive parents have opened doors that may never have been touched by conventional means.  Wow, I am really starting to like this!

One of my exciting recent finds has been The R House Couture shop that sells handmade and custom jewelry pieces in addition to adorable adoption-themed apparel.  My personal favorites are simple necklaces or bracelets that feature words/phrases like "hope", "miracle", "forever in my heart", "i can do hard things", "enjoy the journey", and "eventually".  I carefully read the inspiring descriptions that go along with the beautiful creations and thought about how perfect they would be for an adoptive mom, a hopeful adoptive mom, or a birth mom.

Most items don't scream adoption, but that's part of the beauty and charm....they don't have to.  A necklace could represent a connection to one's personal and private journey of adoption that can be shared, if you want to, or held tightly in other moments.

The R House Couture also offers several adoption onesies and t-shirts for kids.  I have seen nothing like it and love each one!  Here's a sample of what you'll find on the website and I hope you check it out.  If you don't find what you're looking for she will do a custom design as well.

Letters to Birthparents

Letters to birthparents....the very thought of it to a new adoptive mom or dad can be intimidating, nerve-wracking, and scary.  Not because adoptive parents don't want to write a letter, it's that they want to write a great letter...one that is honest, authentic and that the birthparents will be pleased to read.  Trying to come up with the perfect letter is sometimes a barrier to communication because it takes so long to create the final draft that you are happy with sending.  Let yourself off the hook - it doesn't have to be perfect, just genuine!

Here are some practical tips from our agency:

1.  Include the "high points"  and "milestones" of your month or time frame since the last letter (first smiles, first trips to the zoo, first time in the pool, first steps, etc.).

2.  Describe special events, parties, or activities that your family enjoyed.

3.  If you are sending pictures, link your letter to the pictures by describing what's going on in the photos to bring them alive for the birthparents.

4.  In addition to updating about your child, be sure to include things about the whole family.  The birthparent is getting to know you as much as you are trying to get to know them, so it's important to share things that help him or her to understand your personalities as well.  Remember - for many years, your relationship is primarily between adoptive parents and birthparents until the child is older.

5.  Ask questions to encourage a response from the birthparents.  We often hear birth parents say that they don't have any idea what to write about or share about, yet they know that you want to get to know them.  Help them out by asking the things that you're curious about so they can address them in the response letter.

6.  Understand that you may not get a response from every letter that you send - and understand that this is ok.  During the first year, especially, birthparents work through a range of difficult emotions.  At times, receiving your update will be very helpful and healing and, at other times, it may be painful.  However, it's important that you continue to write and keep in contact unless the birthparent requests a change to the communication plans.  You are fulfilling your commitment that you made to him or her and honoring your commitment helps them to build trust.

These letters will be cherished by the birth parents.  I suggest that you make a copy of every letter or email that you send to your child's birth parents (and their responses) to keep them in a notebook to share with the child later.  Some of you have been writing letters for many years to birth parents, what are your ideas to new adoptive parents to keep them fresh and new?

Birthmother's Day - May 8th, 2010

Mother's Day is soon approaching and we want to make sure that you take time to acknowledge Birthmother's Day on that special weekend.  Birthmother's Day falls on the Saturday before Mother's Day - May 8, 2010 - and should be a time that you pause to let birthmother's know how special they are to your family.  This time of year can be difficult for birthmothers, if nobody takes the time to recognize the sacrifice of love that they have made for the child.  Don't let this date pass you by, start planning now!

There are many, creative ways that you can let her know that she is special.  The key is to plan now and get it there on time, BEFORE May 8th so she knows that she is not forgotten.  This day is more about the emotional and sentimental value, than the monetary value.  Here are some suggestions that you may consider:

• Create a photo greeting card of the child on a site such as Snapfish or Shutterfly with a personalized message
• Frame a piece of artwork that the child has created for the birthmother in a simple frame to showcase the creation (fingerpainting, drawing, colored picture, etc.)
• For young children, send handprints or footprints of the child framed, in clay, on a card, etc.  I have seen some adoptive families get really creative with this and send a piece of artwork with "handprint" flowers, etc.  You can find some ideas at Handprint Craft, Baby Handprint Crafts, Enchanted Learning, and more available by doing a quick search!
• Arrange to have flowers delivered to her on May 8th (if you have a mediated adoption through FLS, this can usually be arranged by calling Rose Marie in our office)
• Have a mug, necklace, keychain, etc. personalized with a photo of the child
• Consider sending a recordable card from Hallmark with a simple message recorded by the child (this can be especially cute for those little tikes who are just learning to talk!).
• If you are in close proximity to one another, plan a picnic at a local park or playground to spend some time together and take photos.
• Set up a time to have professional pictures taken with your family and the birthmother in the next month - purchase one of her favorite proofs following the session.  If you are in the Lynchburg area, check out Simple Reflections Photographic Art who have an FLS Adoption Package.

There are limitless ideas that will help to make the birthmother in your life feel special.  Remember, plan now and get it to her on or by May 8th.  What are some of your ideas for celebrating Birthmother's Day?