Who Are You Thankful For Today?

Have you noticed that the social media feeds are full of thankfulness this month?  It seems fairly easy to write a quick tweet or status update, highlighting something that we appreciate every day.  But, how many times do we make the effort to write a note or make a phone call (like we all used to do) to tell someone that we're thankful for them?  That's a little more direct and uncomfortable for most of us, but is probably something we should do more often.

I have been thinking about this for the past week, after my dad told me about a phone call he received out of the blue last week.  He has been a preacher for many years and received a phone call from a lady, whom he had not had any contact with in many years, who was calling just to tell him "thank you" for telling her about Jesus sixteen years ago.  She shared how that moment made a difference in her life and how she thanks God daily for his life-changing impact on her, as a teenager, that day.

That turned his day around...not because he had done anything extraordinary...but because of the simple act of hearing "thanks" and realizing that the impact he made was not forgotten.  Who has made a difference in your life, in your adoption journey, or in your family - maybe recently or maybe years ago?  Will you accept the challenge to step out of your comfort zone and express gratitude this month to that person or group of people who are special in your life?

Just Want This Waiting To Be Over

As I got into the car this morning these lyrics poured out of the radio, “I just want this waiting to be over”. It was as if the words were out of my very own mouth, my attention was immediately caught, and my mind lost in the words that continued to float out of the speakers. “I just want to be with you and it helps to know the day is getting closer. Every minute takes an hour, every inch feels like a mile til I won’t have to imagine and I finally get to see you smile”.

I found myself thinking about the different things I am waiting for in my life. How minutes truly can feel like hours and days like weeks. Then I was thinking, it is so easy to get caught up in my life, in my own personal waiting, that sometimes I forget what I should ultimately be waiting on, seeing my Jesus’ face.

The song went on….

My journey’s here, but my heart is there

So, I dream and wait, and keep the faith while You prepare

Our destiny, til you come back for me

Oh, please make it soon!

Waiting is something I’ve determined I will always be doing. In fact, you may remember a similar blog post from last year. I believe more and more that God designed it that way, to teach me, amongst other things, how to wait on Him, on His second coming.

“Oh, please make it soon!” How often this is the cry of my heart for many things, may it also be my heart’s cry as I wait for His coming.

~By Rachel Curley, FLS Adoption Caseworker

Blessings from Unexpected Places

If you listen to a local Christian radio station, you have undoubtedly heard a song called “Blessings” by Laura Story played over the last month or two.  Recently, this song was shared between a birth mother and an adoptive mother and then later played at their adoption placement celebration. 

May it be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey - a reminder that God is working and His desire is to bless you. 

~Rachel Curley, FLS, Adoption Caseworker

A God Who Waits

This guest post was written and submitted by a couple in the FLS domestic adoption program who are waiting to adopt a child.  Their hope is that this may be an encouragement to other waiting families as they share what they are learning through this time of waiting.

Waiting.  For some, the word “waiting” may conjure up images of long grocery store lines or traffic jams. Maybe it brings to mind time spent in a crowded doctor’s office. It might cause you to reflect on some long-hoped for event. Waiting is something we often reluctantly endure rather than patiently embrace.

Our journey to bring children into our home has granted us multiple opportunities to wait. In our more faithful moments we have asked God, “What do you want us to learn from this? What do we do with this time of waiting?” There have certainly been times when these are not the questions we have asked of God. As the Psalmist, we have cried “Oh God, where is your provision?”

At a recent point in our journey a realization came. God isn’t asking anything of us that He doesn’t experience daily. Is our God not a God who waits? Does God not wait for His children to be brought home? Many are those who are blessed because our God is acquainted with waiting, patiently.

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:8-9). God’s mercy is new every morning. In the overflow of God’s mercy and grace, He is waiting on humanity. He waits for the day when His kingdom will come in its fullness and in all its glory. He is waiting for us. He waits when we choose lesser things over His best for us. He waits for us to fully surrender ourselves to Him. He waits for us to tell the story of His rule and reign through our lives and at times even through our waiting.

It is comforting and humbling to know that God understands what waiting is all about and does not ask us to endure what He is not acquainted with. That perspective gives us strength and hope. It provides us with a small glimpse of Gods character. Our God, a God of no boundaries and infinite power, submits Himself to waiting…and we are the ones who benefit.

So many times, in the midst of waiting, we can only see our own trials and difficulties. This limited perspective fosters discouragement. Instead, as we wait, may we remember that we are not alone. Our God is familiar with waiting. In fact, He has had more practice at it than we have!

Perhaps this time of waiting is not a curse but a gift. Perhaps God is teaching us about Himself.

May you be blessed in your time of waiting.

El Roi - The God Who Sees Me

Have you ever felt alone or feel like no one understands you or your situation? You can be surrounded by a stream of people and feel completely alone.  

Personally, I sometimes feel this way and what really lightens my spirit is knowing this truth - God sees me and He knows everything about me.  El Roi in Hebrew means “the God who sees me”.  Find comfort in remembering, when you feel lonely, that God sees everything and knows everything.  

Scripture makes it clear that God never slumbers, never looks one way while we head off in another, and never misses a millisecond of what is happening on earth because he wants to strengthen our hearts as we serve him.  Be encouraged, friends, God sees and He knows whatever you're going through today.

Written by Erica Dogini, FLS Caseworker

Time to Refresh & Renew the Vision

I love my job...I really do.  It's so much more than a career - I have the opportunity to impact lives every day through my work.  This is a tremendous privilege, but also a burden as I share the celebratory moments and the difficult ones with those whom we work with.  It's hard to "check your work at the door" and arrive home as if nothing significant took place that day. 

In fact, it's taken me years to learn how to vacation...sounds crazy doesn't it? 

I have just returned from spending a week at the beach with my family and can actually say that I'm refreshed, renewed, and ready to pursue the vision that we have for adoptive families, birth parents, and expectant parents.  It's easy to feel guilty on vacation - because somebody is waiting for something they need to proceed in their journey.  However, I've come to realize that God doesn't need me to do His work.  He's doing a great job on His own...of course!  He needs me to be able to take time out to take care of myself, strengthen my family, and be a better adoption professional when I return from a break.

So, here we go....starting a new chapter of 2011.  Even the blog has gotten a facelift!  I have a little catching up to do on blog posts and will be posting upcoming events and placement pictures in the near future.  Glad you're along with us for this ride, exciting things are to come!  Even when we can't see it, God is at work. 

Hope

Blog written by Rachel Curley, Caseworker, at Family Life Services.

Hope is a word that I remember studying in depth when I was waiting for my husband. It was years after college, most of my friends were already married with kids, and the relationship I was in, had just ended.

God, what does hope look like now?

Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. Well, I can tell you coming out of that broken relationship, my heart was definitely feeling sick! Does God have marriage for me? - I wondered. What if He has chosen me to be single so that I am more free to serve Him? “Lord, won’t you please just tell me that you have marriage for me, if I can just know that you have it at the end of this hard road, I will be able to trust you”...this was my prayer.

Then, so clearly, I heard the Lord say, “That is exactly why I am not telling you, because I want you to trust, to have faith, to hope. My plans are not your plans; my ways are not your ways”.  I finally surrendered to His ultimate plan and came to the place where I could respond with “Lord, renew my hope; give me fresh perspective on my life. It’s not about getting married or having a family, sure, those things would be nice, but it’s about my relationship with You, it’s about bringing You glory. If I can bring You more glory single, then single it is! God, You know my heart, you know my desires, and I trust you with them”.

What is it that you hope for today? Are you certain of what you hope for? Where does your hope lie? I encourage you to do your own study on “Hope” and let us know what you discover! Here are some verses to get you started: Hebrews 11:1, Psalm 39:7, and Romans 8:24-25; 15:13

A Fresh Look at Jeremiah 29:11

Few books have impacted me, personally and professionally, like the last one that I completed - Pregnant with Hope, by Susan Radulovacki.  I stumbled upon the website and blog initially when looking at ways to better understand the struggle with infertility and found that the information was honest, Biblical, and offered encouragement.  Whether you are currently experiencing infertility, have in the past, or know someone who is (and whether we realize it or not, we all know someone who is in the midst of it), this book will bless you and provide you with knowledge to help you or someone you know.  The following is an excerpt directly from the book that the author gave me permission to share.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord; "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  -Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes, hearing God's voice depends on knowing how to listen for it.

Let's begin with the phrase, "For I know the plans..."  God is saying that His plans are preconceived and intentional.  They precede this moment in time, and they are not random or arbitrary.  They are neither last-minute nor a whim.  These are plans designed specifically for you, based on His knowledge of all things and His intention to bless you.

"...plans I have for you..."  I have for you.  I have.  Not plans I know you have for you, or plans I know you want Me to have for you.  These plans are God's best for you.  Because of your freedom to make choices of all kinds (free will), you may never see these plans come to fruition if you choose your plans over God's.  Sarah chose not to wait...not to believe...not to trust any plan but her own.  But note, even that did not ultimately thwart god's plan for her.

"...declares the Lord;..."  God is announcing these plans to you with conviction.  He is positive of their existence prior to their execution.  The statement, "I know the plans I have for you" carries the full weight and authority of the King who declares them.  It is so.  He is certain.

"...Plans to prosper you..." The use of active voice reinforces that God will be taking action for your benefit.  He intends to prosper you, or to set in motion the prosperity that He wills for you.  You will receive the action, receive the blessing that is His gift to you.

"...and not to harm you..." God is making two overlapping promises.  He plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Like a Venn diagram, this area of overlap indicates your maximum benefit.  He intends to help you, and not to hurt you.  He intends to lift you up, and not to hold you back.  He plans to bless you, and not to curse you.  He is for you, and not against you.

"...plans to give you hope..." The use of active voice and verb "give" reminds again that God will be taking the action; you will be on the receiving end.  He will give you hope that originates with Him.  Because He is a promise-keeping God, that hope will have a different kind of staying power than the self-based hope you prop up with busyness and frantic efforts to control.  It will be vital and full of life.  It will be sustained by His will, not just your own.

"...and a future..." Again, God makes two overlapping promises.  He will give you hope and give you a future.  Not just one or the other, but both.  One gift for the waiting time (hope), and another gift of pending blessings (a future).  One you need now; one you can await with anticipation and gratitude.  The knowledge that you have both can bring you peace - now, and always.

Taken as a whole message, these verses make clear that God is proactively planning abundant blessings for you!  Do you hear His voice of reassurance?  He is saying, "You can relinquish control and trust Me.  You can let go."  Your response should be to anticipate these blessings confidently and thrive in the meantime.

But it's not that easy

Why not?  Why is it so hard to let go?

The problem is:  "For I know..."  God has made plans that God-only knows.  The excruciating challenge is, you don't know.  And you won't know until after-the-fact.  If you are going to relinquish control to God, you will have to do so without knowing His plans.  You will have to trust Him in the midst of uncertainty.

Can you trust God to keep promises in your life - just as He does in scripture?

A Perfect Love

Today is Valentine's Day and, although I'm very thankful to have the opportunity to celebrate love with my husband & family, I can't help but think about the perfect love and care of my heavenly Father. Matthew 6:25-30

I recently had the opportunity to listen in on a conversation between a birth mother and the adoptive family whom she chose to parent her daughter.  The conversation began with the usual updates, but quickly turned to things of the Lord as each expressed how God had been moving and working in their lives over the past couple of years to strengthen their faith.  This was the first opportunity either had really told the other how they felt God's direction in the adoption process and beyond. 

It was amazing to see how the Lord has been working simultaneously, in two families, in two separate states, to reveal many of the same things to each family about His purpose, His plan, and His power!  The conversation gave me chills and I was, once again, reminded of how the Lord loves us and how he cares about every detail of our lives.  There was example after example shared about how God had revealed something through a minute detail or a significant undertaking to these individuals along the journey to adoption.

I wonder how many things we miss in our daily lives around us when we're not looking for His hand in it all? 

Just Add 1 Social Worker, 1 Protein Shake, and a Conversation with God

Some days I feel so very inadequate for my job, the challenges that arise daily, and the position in which God has placed me.  This is one of those days that I drove to work drinking my protein shake and talking to the Lord as is my normal morning routine (if you ever pass me in the morning, you can sometimes even find me talking out loud to Him!).  The conversation, on my end, went something like this:

"Really, Lord, what can I do or say to ease the anxiety of waiting for prospective adoptive families or soften the grief of a birth parent's heart who is wrestling with an adoption decision?  Are you sure that this is where you want me? I feel like I have nothing to offer that can make these life situations any easier.  What can I say or do to show people that I care, but can't take this burden from them?" 

And then we met for devotions.  Translation:  And then God gave me His side of our conversation.

Our guest this morning was Rhonda, a volunteer from our local pregnancy center (Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center - Lynchburg, Virginia) who shared very timely insights from God's word for all of us who are "in the trenches" on a daily basis.  She confirmed for me that there is nothing I can say to impact the futures of the folks with whom I work - unless I give them Jesus.

I realize that each day I make mistakes, stumble, may not say the right thing and may not always be perceived in the way that I have intended.  But, if I start the day with the Lord, He can take my weakness - and use me - if I allow myself to become His vessel.

My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.  2 Corinthians 12:9

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

The Choice - When God Whispers Your Name

Each Wednesday morning, the staff of the Liberty Godparent Foundation organization meets to start our day collectively with devotions.  It's amazing to see how we are all encouraged and enriched by this simple act of sharing - and listening - together.  This morning's leadership role was assigned to the Office Manager of Family Life Services, Rose Marie Owens, who has faithfully worked with our ministry for 27 years...that is not a typo, she has been here that long!  She is an avid reader and holds knowledge that can be found nowhere else in this ministry.  We are so thankful for all that she has and continues to pour into our ministry.  Rose shared a familiar passage of scripture, Galatians 5:22-23, about the fruit of the spirit and an excerpt from Max Lucado's book, When God Whispers Your Name.  Here's a portion of what she shared from the book that was especially meaningful as we begin a day that will be bombarded with demands, deadlines, and difficult decisions.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands.  It is now I must make a choice.  Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose.  And so I choose. 

I choose love...No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.  I choose love.  Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.  I will refuse the temptation to be cynical - the tool of the lazy thinker.  I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.  I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace...I will live forgiven.  I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience...I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.  Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.  Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray.  Instead of clinching by fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness...I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.  Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.  And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness...I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.  I will be overlooked before I will boast.  I will confess before I will accuse.  I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness...Today I will keep my promises.  My debtors will not regret their trust.  My associates will not question my word.  My wife will not question my love.  And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness...Nothing is won by force.  I choose to be gentle.  If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.  If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.  If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control...I am a spiritual being.  After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.  I refuse to let what will not, rule the eternal.  I choose self-control.  I will be drunk only by joy.  I will be impassioned only by my faith.  I will be influenced only by God.  I will be taught only by Christ.  I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  To these I commit my day.  If I succeed, I will give thanks.  If I fail, I will seek his grace.  And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest. 

The Great 8 Challenge - Karis Magazine

If you look at the top of our blog, you'll see a fancy new banner that has been added to our blog this weekend, proudly proclaiming our support for Karis Magazine!  It is a faith-based publication that started in Southwest Virginia in October 2010 and is quickly expanding and growing.  The magazine's launch of their e-subscription this past weekend will quickly launch them toward their goal of becoming national.  If I had to make a prediction, I think this will become one of the leading Christian publications available.  This magazine is committed to giving back a portion of their income to other ministries impacting the Kingdom.  Here's the first challenge for those wanting to get in on the action...straight from Karis...believe me, you will be encouraged and challenged by every page.

The Great 8 Challenge.

8,000 dollars. 8 ministries. All you have to do is subscribe.

Literally, within an hour of our eKaris launch- God started tugging at our heart strings. (He's so very prompt like that.) We prayed and pondered, and because this company, magazine and ministry is for Him- we're going to start giving back the blessings that He is pouring in!!!

Here's the skinny- For every 100 subscriptions, (eKaris ONLY) Karis Magazine will donate 1,000 dollars to a non-profit organization/charity/ministry. We prayed and used God's super duper knowledge to determine which organizations we'd give to for this go-a-round. After literally picking them from a bowl, here's the order:

1. Straight Street Ministries

2. Liberty Godparent Foundation

3. The Rescue Mission

4. God's Pit Crew

5. Children's Miracle Network

6. Manna Ministries

7. Feeding America Southwest Virginia

8. Rick Via World Ministries

PLEASE subscribe to eKaris and make a difference in the lives of others! Make sure to pass it on; shout it from the roof tops if you have to- we won't judge. HELP US HELP OTHERS!!!! Log onto www.karismag.com to get your subscription today and follow them on Facebook at Karis Magazine to follow this amazing journey of faith.

How Will 2011 Be Different For You?

We are back in full-swing at Family Life Services and anticipating a great new year ahead!  Welcoming 2011 seems to bring with it an obligation to come up with wise or witty resolutions that will positively impact our lives in some way.  I've reflected on this a little over this last weekend and settled in my mind that I'm not much of a "resolution person". 

Sure, I want to lose weight, eat healthier, live within my budget, make every day count, blog more consistently and live like I'm dying but I don't necessarily feel the need to make some earth-shattering statement about it on facebook just because the date on the calendar has switched (I mean, don't we all need to know the New Year's Resolutions of the person who sat beside us in our high school Algebra class?!).

However, it is a great time to reflect on the year behind us and hope and dream about the one ahead of us.  That can be an overwhelming task for many of us as we're just happy to have made it.  If 2010 brought with it a host of struggles, disappointments, and hardship, it is possible to focus on the fact that you've made it through to begin a new year.

There is great peace in knowing that God knows what we've been through and He knows what lies ahead in the coming year.  Often I feel that I repeat one simple phrase to get me through the darkest of moments...

God knows.

We can walk boldly into the unknown of a new year because we have the Ultimate Companion, who will stick with us every step of the way and give us the strength, grace, and courage for each day.

Since I cannot change many of the circumstances that surround me, I have determined that I want to enter into this year less focused on my circumstances and more focused on my reactions to what comes my way.  Maybe I'm a "resolution person" after all?!  What resolutions have you made for 2011? 

Happy New Year,
Deanne

All I Really Want For Christmas...Is A Family.

During this season of joy, giving, and family traditions, it's easy to get so wrapped up in our own holiday traditions, family conflicts, and trivial business that we forget those who have a very different experience than our own during the holiday season.  The children without families, the elderly adults with no visitors, the homeless people on the street, the families who are struggling to feed their children, and those who have experienced significant grief, tragedy, and/or loss. 

How can you reach out to those around you during this time?  Is God calling you to make a visit, prepare a meal, serve at a local shelter, show someone that you care, buy gifts for children in foster care, or expand your family through adoption?  Whatever it is...do it...and you will never be the same. 

"...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."  Matthew 25:40b

Seasons of Life

I must start out by saying that I love autumn in Virginia...it is a beautiful time of year with magnificent views of the Blue Ridge Mountains as they seem to create a different artistic masterpiece every day with their evolving hues!  Our office is nestled at the base of a small mountain and, this week, our windows have become frames for the elaborate scenery of nature signaling that we are almost at the peak of this season.

Every Wednesday, the staff of Family Life Services, the Liberty Godparent Foundation, and the Liberty Godparent Home meets first thing in the morning for devotions and prayer.  I was slotted to share this morning and was convinced, yesterday, that I had a great devotional to share with the ladies from a recent daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries (as a side note, you need to sign up for these if you haven't already).  As I was getting ready this morning, God began to speak to me and let me know that He had something different that I was to share.

I pulled out my Soul Care Bible as I was eating breakfast and a few flips of the page revealed the timely words that I was able to share with our staff this morning about the "Seasons of Life" by Freda Crews (drawn from I Chronicles 23). 

In the last year and a half, I have personally experienced a consistent series of transitions:  transition to marriage, job transitions for my husband, and a combination of leadership changes within our ministry.  If I may have a moment of transparency with you, I must say that I am one who doesn't welcome change with excitement but have come to realize that change can be very positive even in the midst of uncomfortable circumstances.

Life is a series of transitions...that is a reality for all of us.  We have a choice to make regarding our response to change:  we can resist it with everything that is in us and probably become miserable in the process or we can decide to be aggressively engaged in becoming the people God intended us to be by learning to navigate through the transitions of life.

With God's help, how can we handle life transitions and come out a better person on the other side?  Better yet, how can we come through these changes with our joy, faith, and hope still intact?  Here are some simple and practical takeaways that I needed to hear more than anyone this morning:

1)  Accept the reality that life transitions are inevitable.  Although we can prevent or avoid some transitions, other we cannot and are beyond our control.  Acceptance allows us to embrace life with its seasons of growth and development.

2)  Allow change to work.  Transitions help us to become what God wants us to be and He is in control of every situation, manipulating it behind the scenes to accomplish His purpose in our lives.

3)  Persevere - Hang in there during the difficult circumstances!  God leads us through circumstances that give us the opportunity to grow strong spiritual roots so we can withstand the storms of life.  Character can be cultivated when we persevere through the pain of change.

4)  Wait for the purposes of God to unfold.  Trust that He is faithful and will reveal a purpose to the painful transitions in life.

If this meets you right where you are today, you are not alone.  My heart was stirred as I related each of these reminders to my personal life and our organization.  I must choose to go "along for the ride" knowing that it's not a chaotic, out-of-control ride with no plan, but rather God is in control of each hour of every day and already knows the end result of my circumstances.  Be encouraged, friends, that He loves us and is holding you close in the midst of the storm.

An Adoption Story - Berk & Patti

Every family has a story and this adoptive family, Berk and Patti, can see God's hand all over their adoption journey.  It wasn't always easy and they will tell you that the wait was long and hard....but so very worth it.  We celebrated Kristin's adoption day at FLS on March 2, 2009.

We are Berk and Patti with our beautiful daughter Kristin, whom we adopted in March 2009. We waited approximately 5 years for Kristin and we are here to tell you the waiting time was not always easy. We started out with a different type of agency where all of the adoptions were closed. We waited there about 3 years with no results. We really felt God was leading us to Family Life Services and after our first talk with our Caseworker, we looked at each other and said “we are finally where we are supposed to be”. We had such a peace about our decision. We started our homestudy process and went through the weekend training in March of 2007. We entered the waiting pool in the Fall of 2007 and waited approx 16 months for placement in March 2009. During our waiting time, we never had a single interview. We had many times during our waiting time where we would get discouraged and question whether it was meant for us to adopt or not. We had our Caseworker encouraging us and so many prayer warriors, they wouldn’t let us stay down for long. We had one of our prayer partners tell us that “if God didn’t intend for you to adopt, He wouldn’t have laid it on your heart to be here”. That is so true. We were also older and thought this might be a factor, but it wasn’t. Everything we thought might be an obstacle, wasn’t one after all.

After 16 months, we were notified of a placement of a baby girl. I can not describe to you the excitement and anticipation that we had. When Kristin was placed in our arms, she was the most beautiful sight we had ever seen. The love we had for her was overwhelming and we were so blessed. Kristin has been such a blessing to us and we are so thankful to our Birthmother for giving us the greatest gift by choosing us to be her parents. Our adoption is closed, so we don’t have contact, but we love her and she is constantly in our thoughts and prayers.

Our friends and Sponsors who had placements in the past, all told us that once we had our placement we would see God’s plan and how it all worked out. We knew this to be true, but when we were waiting for our first child we really didn’t understand it. It’s so hard sometimes to see the end result if you are not there yet even if you see it in other’s lives. We are here to tell you, don’t lose hope and don’t question God. It is so amazing and awesome how He works all these adoptions out. We praise God now for the 5 agonizing years we waited for Kristin and wouldn’t have done anything differently. We are also so grateful to those who prayed for us and listened to us when we were down and questioning everything. We could not have made it through this process without you.

Our first agency experience prepared us for a closed adoption, so it wasn’t a waste of time. Everything we went through was God preparing us for Kristin. We had to wait for Kristin and you are waiting for your baby. Kristin is perfect for us in every way. We plan and want things in our time, but we have to wait on God’s timing and He does not make mistakes. We questioned our decision and many times forgot that peace we had when we started our process. I tell you the wait is not easy, but it is so worth it in the end when the most perfect little baby girl or boy is placed in your arms. Know that those of us who have walked in your shoes are praying for you constantly. You are not alone and God will answer prayers!

Blessings from our family to yours,
Berk, Patti & Kristin

Times of Loneliness

My thoughts have been stirred this morning with the realization that so many of the people I come into contact with on a daily basis feel very alone.  The feeling of loneliness can be unsettling, frustrating, painful, intensely emotion and frightening. 

Most frequently, we hear descriptions of this feeling from expectant parents and waiting adoptive families....the young birth mothers or birth fathers who would desperately like to find themselves in a different situation - but find themselves looking at adoption as the way to provide what they hope and dream for their unborn child or the waiting adoptive parent who feels like they are the only ones who are in the midst of this mysterious "wait" as they long for news that their family has been chosen to raise a child.

I came across an excerpt from a book, Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliott, that speaks to this heart-wrenching feeling of loneliness and how to deal with it in any stage or time in our lives.  The following are her words:

Be still and know that He is God.  When you are lonely, too must stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste to your soul.  Use that stillness to quiet your heart before God.  Get to know Him.  If He is God, He is still in charge.

Remember that you are not alone.  "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)  Jesus promised his disciples, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 20:20). Never mind if you cannot feel His presence.  He is there, never for one moment forgetting you.

Give thanks.  In times of my greatest loneliness, I have been lifted up by the promise of 2 Corinthians 4:17-18:  "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  This is something to thank God for.  This loneliness itself, which seems a weight, will be far out-weighed by glory.

Refuse self-pity.  Refuse is absolutely.  It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you.  Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows.

Accept your loneliness.  It is one stage, and only one stage on a journey that brings you to God.  It will not always last. 

Offer up your loneliness to God, as the little boy offered to Jesus his five loaves and two fishes.  God can transform it for the good of others.

Do something for someone else.  No matter who or where you are, there is something you can do, somebody who needs you.  Pray that you may be an instrument of God's peace, that where there is loneliness you may bring joy.

Dear friends, He will carry you if you rest in His arms and allow Him to draw you closer.  ~Deanne

Prayer Changes Me

If you have lived a minute, you have heard someone rattle off "Prayer Changes Things"...usually when you're going through something difficult or dealing with a situation beyond your control.  Although there is no doubt that this statement is true, it is usually the last thing that we want to hear in that moment of desperation.

Prayer is a pillar of our adoption services at Family Life Services.  We often pray for our waiting adoptive families, birth parents, foster families, and adoptive families whom we have come to know and love over years of connecting with them on a regular basis.  In turn, we covet your prayers as Adoption Professionals who seek to serve each person in a kind, sensitive, and compassionate way.  We daily remind one another that God is in control of the whole process and He knows whatever is going on in our office that day.

I am overwhelmed with gratefulness today after receiving a definite answer to something that has been a matter of prayer for my husband and I for many months.  This has led me, not only to consider how prayer changed our situation, but how prayer changed me.  Prayer gave me peace, hope, and a confidence that I had done all I could physically and humanly do, yet I continued to actively bring the situation before God and beg Him to intervene on our behalf. 

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I tend to be an action-oriented, problem-solving individual who will go to great lengths to discover a solution and carry it through to completion.  I am naturally inclined to worry, fret, and lose sleep over something that I cannot resolve.  However, situations placed on me that are beyond my control demand that I surrender to the One who ultimately controls every aspect of my life and future.  I have found peace in embracing that truth like never before...

1 Thessalonians 5:17 urges us to "Pray without ceasing."  Would you mention our names when you pray?

Intentional Living

I can honestly say that I am blessed to, not only work in an office with professionals who share a common passion for adoption, but also work in a place where we have a common faith and belief that God is in control of our everyday lives. 

From a professional standpoint, this belief is what carries us through the most stressful of adoption situations and emotional ups and downs.  Our job is to provide counseling and services to the best of our ability and ensure the safety of children - not to force a parenting or adoption decision on any birth parent.  Ultimately, God is in total control and I have seen Him work out details through divine intervention to place an infant with an adoptive family; similarly, I have seen Him open doors for a birth parent who felt that they had no support to successfully parent and make a way for them to have a bright future for themselves and their child.  What a burden is lifted when we realize that we are powerless and He is powerful.

During the last year, our staff, birth families, and adoptive families have experienced a variety of sudden losses of both family and friends.  The idea that "our days are numbered" has been central to many conversations within the office.  Although grief and loss are difficult and painful to work through, this has resulted in a renewed focus to be intentional in our lives, to embrace our ultimate purpose, and to wholeheartedly strive to make every day count.  Life is too short to sit around and ponder the past or worry about what the future may bring.  We can't change the past or control the future, but we can influence the present.  Let's live every day as if it were the last and see what a difference a day makes...

Watch the Mountains

Nate and Sara completed the adoption of their two children, Eden and Caleb, from Ethiopia in 2009.  Sara skillfully and beautifully documents their adoption journey in her blog, Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.  Visit her blog and you will be blessed, encouraged, and will be able to relate to the honest feelings behind each post.  "Watch The Mountains" is being used, by permission, from her entry on May 3, 2010.

I think we’ll always wonder if certain behaviors from our children are a result of their past before they were adopted, or even a result of the adoption process itself.

They both have taken to crawling into my arms and asking if they can “be Mommy’s baby.” This comes with requests for me to walk with them, rock them, “burp” them, hold them close and show them off.

“Please show Daddy mommy’s baby,” Caleb says.

“Of course,” I say. “Daddy, do you see that I am holding the most precious baby God has ever made … his name is Caleb Asnaka. And he’s all mine.”

Caleb’s eyes sparkle with deep contentment.

And although she demonstrates no mental delays, Eden continues to have a hard time grasping that she won’t again get to be a baby. She says often: “when I grow up and then I get to be a baby.” Does she have a sense of what she lost? Dehydrated of opportunities to be held, cuddled, nurtured?

As Caleb’s attachment has progressed … and progressed … and progressed, I am seeing more of his tender heart emerge. He cries when his sister is hurt. Any sense of fear sends him bolting to me and clawing his way up and around my neck. He gives lots of “surprise kisses.” (I’ve decided not to tell him that the warning that they’re coming negates the very surprise he plants.)

Is he so tender because of the early years of his life spent with so much uncertainty?

I don’t know that we’ll ever know the answers to these questions, but one thing I am certain of is this: being orphaned for a day–or, as with Eden, for nearly 4 years–has a profound impact on a child’s life. I can barely stand to think about what would have happened to my precious children had they not been in our home.

And there are millions of others like them. Imprinted with the DNA of God, called “His sons and daughters”, and left to starve on the streets. World-influencers, at the bottom of the food chain … forgotten.

But not by Him.

We pray in our house that God would bring the “little boys and girls without mommies and daddies into families.” But there are some not in line to be brought into families. More than some. And when we pray about them, we pray that God would be their great Daddy.

Maybe forgotten by their biological parents. Maybe forgotten by the world. Maybe overlooked by the passer-by on the street. But not by God.

While we wait on the “go ahead” for our next adoption and for some other orphan-related work He has put on our hearts, this prayer has become more frequent: God, be their Daddy.

Let the stories that emerge from these orphaned lives be ones that speak of a God who is a father to the fatherless (Psalm 86). Let the orphans of the earth rise up and call Him Father.

Our adoption has made an impact. When we look at those two lives, our measurements suggest a size-able dent. But these prayers of ours have the ability to move mountains.

So do yours.

Let us not, in our rush to “just do something”, forget that all power lies in His hands.

Our plumb line to Him is our first form of advocacy.

Nate and I love advocacy on behalf of orphans and the poor. But could it be that all those Scriptural encouragements to pray, to cry out, is where the real work begins? Evidence continues to confirm to me that the place of prayer–seeking His face and His heart, not our solutions and our plans–brings “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3).

Give it a week. Or a month. Or a year. Set your plans for the passion that’s burning in your heart aside. And pray. Ask God for His heart, His plans, His strategies. And listen.

And (urgh) wait.

It’s probably bigger than you ever thought, maybe more challenging, requiring you to be more anonymous while He is lifted up … but certainly a lot more fun.

Then watch the mountains.

Mark 11:22-24 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.